There is so much to be grateful for today. I no longer awaken dopesick and angry. I’m no longer p¡$$€¤ off at the world, nor myself. I’m truly happy. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m getting closer, every day. I’m clear-headed, hopeful & dopeless, and I’m not consumed with an obsession to stay well. My relationships are mending, and I have a roaring fire lit inside of me.
I know that I have to put some work in, each day, to keep myself moving forward. I have to remind myself of how far I’ve come, in order to keep from becomming stagnate. Some days are easier than others. I don’t ever think of using to solve those problems today. For that, I am incredibly grateful.
I’m forcing myself to stay balanced. Nearly every time I feel like I don’t want to do something (that I KNOW I should do), I make myself do it. I also allow myself to rest, which is something I’ve struggled with for a long time.
I am VERY hard on myself, but I try to remember how much I’ve already accomplished, and that helps.
I’m still struggling with releasing that toxic relationship, though. I miss him, sometimes so badly that I can hardly breathe. Yet I know that, eventually, we will both move on and I’ll hardly remember how this feels now. He will move on very quickly, and that will help some. To help with this, I tey to remember the hell he’s put me through and that it will never get better. What truly keeps me away is not my own suffering, sadly, it is the pain that my son and my family would feel if I ever went backwards.
That’s all I’ve got for today.
Hopefully it helps someone
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Beautiful testimony. Keep fighting the good fight!
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Thank you for that strong message. I have been addicted to crack, herion and alcohol for over 15 years. I made a decision to start my life today. I have been sober for less than four hours. I am going to detox and starting my life over this morning.
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Wishing you all the best in your journey of healing. 
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Very excited for you! I hope you stick around here. And congrats on making such a good decision to get sober.
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