Hi. I’m 23 years old and I’ve drank for years. I tend to get blackout drunk everytime I drink. My behaviour is horrible. I have hurt my friends, family and myself over the years and I just have to quit. I’ve been arrested, I’ve been fighting… just constant mayhem. Last year I also started taking sleeping pills with alcohol. Things got really bad for me. I’m just glad I haven’t killed anyone. Last summer I pulled myself together and managed to stay sober over three months, until I relapsed. Things got worse again. During my sobriety months I managed to get in school. Its going really well but I think I cannot go to the parties anymore. I just cannot drink like normal people. I cannot take the risk of screwing up again. Things got remarkably better when I was sober but when I got drunk again…
Almost all of my friends (the very few I haven’t pushed away) are drinking. I am sick and tired of being a complete mess. I’ve been sober for two days now.
Hello All, my name is Van.
I drink - or at least I did until three days ago. I’ve spent my life around habits and addicts and this is not not the first time I have tried to get sober. I am 25 and have had a close relationship to alcohol for a decade. I have been arrested, hospitalized and been to hell and back, alone and with my loved ones and it is amazing to know there is a welcoming community here.
Ordinarily I would reward myself for my milestone of three-days by having a drink but am going to try to ingrain myself into community instead.
I am not a religious person but every morning I wake up and say to myself:
“Wake up and strengthen what remains” -Rev.
As of four minutes ago, I am three days sober and counting.
Welcome @aparazze and @van you have definitely found the best place to be!!
I too struggled to go more than a couple of days before feeling the need to reward myself with ‘a couple’ drinks. In the first week of my sobriety journey, it seemed to be all I could think about!
But by being on here regularly reading and sharing with others who totally understand where my mind was at, helped me make the right decision each day - not to have that drink.
Once you see and feel the benefits (which mount up little by little) of being sober. The temptations to have that ‘just one’ will become less frequent.
I am on day 25 now and am so glad I didn’t cave to those early temptations, as I can see now that is a way of life I do not want to go back to.
Hi
My name is Marsha. Doc opiates. Where to even start. I took my first vike in 1999. I was 18. Wasn’t a problem because we were young doing it only around Xmas at gramas house. (Grandpas script) fast forward to 2006 met my husband had a baby and went to grams for Xmas. Introduced husband all over from there. He loved them we were taking probably 10 to 20 vike 10s a day. Then he started working in a doctors office! We started writing our own prescriptions after that we were probably taking 20 to 50 a day me 20 him 50 I was 28 years old so is he our son was two. We live in a very small town in Arizona we didn’t have many pharmacies to choose from but if I knew you I promise I had a prescription in your name somewhere we got married in June 2008 and we were arrested in November 2008 by the end of October that year it was a Sunday the pharmacies were closed, and I was sicker than a dog I told him we needed to stop we were living with my dad because we’ve already spent everything we had on pills. And I did stop cold turkey I told my best friend I told my boss and I told My dad. It was the absolute worst 10 days of my entire life that was the last week of October my husband at that time pretended to go through the withdrawals with me not knowing he was still getting prescriptions from the pharmacy a SWAT team showed up at my dads house November 10 the pharmacies had caught on and I was so confused because they said they investigated us November 1 through November 8 so I was ready to fight because I knew that I quit and October and they’re set my husband in handcuffs on the couch crying saying he was sorry they arrested us both confiscated my car and took us to jail my dad put his house up and his car to get us out refinanced his house to pay for my lawyer. I ended up with two years of probation for paraphernalia and felicitation of a narcotic drug by Fraud. I was clean for two years on probation my husband and I divorced in the moment my probation was up I moved to Pennsylvania to be with my high school sweetheart we are now in June 2010 I started working at a restaurant clean and from across the entire restaurant I watched a girl pop a pill I thought what could ONE possibly do I walked up to her and asked her if I could have one she gave me one in the next day I took one and the day after that and the day after that. And then I took two and then I was taking 3 to 4. 5-6. Fast forward to June 2015 I am now full on an addiction no longer taking the pills to get high just taking them to prevent myself from being sick because I’ve been there and I know what it was like my boyfriend had no idea never done a drug in his life he knew about my past and was proud of me June 26, 2015 my baby brother’s girlfriend Shit her self in the head leaving behind my 23-year-old baby brother and an eight-month-old daughter 2000 miles away from where Im at, the phone call came from my brother I couldn’t even understand him all I knew was she was dead and he needed me the next day I was on an airplane with my two kids back to that small town in Arizona full on addiction but knowing that I knew where to get them. My mother enabled me I got them from her friends two months later my boyfriend packed at the house in Pennsylvania got a trailer and drove all of our stuff out because I convinced him my brother needed me on my neice needed me.
I got an awesome job at a dentist office how I don’t know because I am a felon with drug charges but I did and started writing my own prescriptions I met a lady who would sell me her Oxsee’s but they also smoke crystal meth there at her house I have never touched it before in my life my mom did it it was something that I hated and I thought was disgusting I was there every single day getting pills I guess you can only be around it enough and watch it enough before you’re like fuck it let me try it December 2015 I started smoking crystal meth. But only when I couldn’t get pills I have also started taking Suboxone when I couldn’t get pills everybody had something six months later after my boyfriend found my pipes my pills he packed at the house in Arizona and he left me I am only so lucky that he did not take my kids. He gave me a choice to get clean and come home to Pennsylvania or to fight in court for the kids and lose him forever so for about six months straight I smoke crystal math every day did pills every day I lost my baby brother my little sister my dad stopped trusting me. The math started fucking with my head I truly became a fucking hacker I can take a cell phone apart replace any part in any cell phone in a matter of five minutes however it did take me two weeks of no sleep YouTube and a bunch of broken cell phones to figure out what it was doing. I was tweet out of my mind on the cell phones my brother kicked me out I packed up my car and my kids said goodbye to my dad and drove out to Pennsylvania by myself spun out of my mind my boyfriend took me back took me to the doctor. I have now been on the Suboxone program since September I’ve never even thought twice about the crystal meth. Honestly no withdrawal at all from the pills that’s what had me in the meth was just something to do. But I found that a friend of mine could do pills all day long but she didn’t really like them but she couldn’t put down the meth. I have found being addicted to the pills that I didn’t really like math but I could do it all day long but it didn’t affect me to put it down so here’s my story here I am I almost lost everything I don’t know if you guys would call me sober because I am on a Suboxone program but I attend counseling in a meetings and I’m doing it I haven’t taken a pill or smoked meth. I just knew my will power would not allow me to go through the withdrawal process again I had to go help best decision of my life nice to meet everybody sorry so long but that’s my story oh one more thing the lady that I was getting her Oxsee’s she passed away two months ago she overdosed on heroin. I am very lucky that I had her in my life or else I would probably be a heroin addict too. Once she started doing heroin I would see that she wasn’t sick when I was because we couldn’t get pills one day I went to her house and I said let me hit that they smoked it she told me it was all gone and found me a Suboxone I found out later that she had a whole drawer full of heroin but she wouldn’t let me touch it and now she’s gone
Hi, my names Clare, I’m 32, I have 2 daughters and a husband of 5 years and ive been a heavy drinker for the past 10 years! I have tried to stop a few times and I usually last a week or so, but this time I’m done!! I can’t even have 1 pint without turning into someone I despise! I say nasty things to my family, I wake up regretting everything from the night before, I constantly have to check I haven’t said anything nasty to my husband or kids…I feel useless, I feel like such a bad mum/wife/daughter! I don’t want my kids to grow up hating me, but unless I change now… Today, they will. I was sober all last week then got drunk again on sat! Im currently at rock bottom and can’t see a way up at mo
wow @Marshalee , i was struggling to breath reading through your story, you should publish a book!! It sort of reminded me of TV series nurse jackie! Welcome x
Hello everyone, my name’s Olivia. I’m 24 and from Colorado. I have issues with binge partying I guess you’d call it, alcohol and cocaine use mainly. It got to the point where it was just about every weekend and I was losing control of my mental state, self esteem, and close friends. Not to mention my bank account. A lot of my reasoning for abuse comes from a high stress job and being around friends who tend to binge when they use.
I have some amazing friends who still party, and also some friends who don’t…but I’ve recently become public with the fact that I’m getting sober. Almost 10 days free of cocaine and 9 from alcohol. Even my dad has said he’s proud of me and I kept my ways fairly secret. I’ve been lurking for a few days but thought I’d jump into the community, it seems like everyone here is friendly and supportive.
I want to get sober for my health both mental and physical, as well as to heal the relationships I run away from when things get tough. I’m taking steps to distance myself from bad influences and am focusing on self care and old hobbies I never had time to practice when I was hungover/high all weekend.
I’m one day into sobriety. Not the first time I’ve tried to become sober. I went for a month or two many other times and for almost 2 years between 2013 and 2015.
Alcohol has always had a firm grip over me, as well as my dad. I lost him to alcohol in 2009. I’ve struggled ever since that day.
This time really hurts though. I’m afraid my wife is going to leave me this time, with a baby on the way.
I’m just going to take it one day at a time and hopefully prove to her that I’m better than this and can stay away from alcohol for good.
Hello @Livy I’m Livvie nice to meet you and share our sibriety! Hi @Haks94 I too lost father to drinking, I’m glad you decided to straighten your act. We have couple of ladies pregnant here also, cant wait til all of those cute baby pics!!
My name is Adam Tripp. I’m a 36 year old Dallas, TX native. 20 of those years were spent shooting heroin and cocaine, eating benzos and drinking methadone. The past 3 1/2 years I’ve spent clean and sober. I worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous but do not attend meetings and completely retained my identity. I am employed by Turtle Creek Recovery Center, which is where I got sober. I am cynical, sarcastic, selfish and fucked up. The difference these days is the fact that I know and love who I am. I strive to be better, to be honest and to help others.
Hi! I’m Kenny from New Jersey. I’ve been a binge drinker half of my adult life. I guess I thought it was okay to let loose every Friday after work from a stressful week and binge drink. This never affected my job or relationships, I was just a functioning alcoholic. As I got older it got worse, getting banned from different bars for being sloppy or out of control, two day hangovers, etc. Exactly a year ago my mom passed away after her 2nd stroke, it took its toll on me and the drinking intensified afterwards. I got my first DUI on Easter Sunday, I stopped drinking after that wake up call and then relapsed this past New Years Eve. I was so disappointed in myself. I know I can do better
Welcome @forzaenjay. I’m fairly new here, but you will find a lot of great support and advice on the forum. We have something in common - I relapsed starting on NY eve after 13 months. But moving forward again now.
Thanks John! This forum has helped me through my first weekend. Super Bowl weekend was brutal last week, I said enough is enough. Good luck, we can do this…
x
