Introduce Yourself

[Robin]

Hi, all!

I decided to start a topic where we could introduce ourselves.

I’ll start.

My name is Robin. I’m 25 years old and I live in Cape Town, South Africa. Substance abuse has had an impact on my life since I was young. I’ve seen it destroy homes. I’ve seen beautiful people turn ugly towards their family.

When I was nine, my mother and I moved into an apartment block. Our neighbour’s daughter was about 16 at the time. She used to make me these awesome raspberry jelly sandwiches. I really liked them. She was this beautiful, vibrant girl. She got involved with the “wrong” crowd at an early age. She started using meth. Things went from bad to worse in the next few years. She ended up in the hospital so many times. I went to vist her a while ago. She is okay now, but her addiction will always be with her.

It saddens me when I think about the damage that substances cause a person. It saddens me just as much to think about how it damages that person’s friends and family. I’m trying to help out and make a difference.

That’s me!
Looking forward to hearing from everyone.

[Volatile]

Alright well… I’m Kori. I’m mainly a heroin addict in recovery, but I’ve done nearly every drug known to man. Heroin just happened to be my downfall. I started going to raves when i was about 19 or so. My fiance had just betrayed me, and prior to that point i had been very sheltered - I’d never even drank or smoked pot. It was all downhill from there. By the time i was 25, i had done a plethora of different drugs, had several trips to the hospital, been in 2 abusive relationships, and gotten married to a man that supplied me with morphine… Which ultimately led to heroin when he divorced me.

I’m 30 now and I’ve been sober for 14 days (my last relapse was only for a day, but it was a relapse all the same), but I’ve lost almost everything that ever mattered to me. I lost my husband, 2 fiances, my apartment, all my possessions that had any value were pawned away… And i lost the trust of my family and most of my friends. I have no car, no money, i can’t find a job due to my mental/mood disorders, i can no longer trust anyone… Hell, even my beautiful little dog died. I have two college degrees and literally nothing to show for it.

But… At least I’m alive, right?

Edit: Completely forgot to mention that I was arrested 3 times and, although I’ve never been to prison, I’m now a felon on probation. So if anyone needs advice on how to find a job or live life as an ex-con… I can’t help you because i haven’t figured it out yet.

Summary

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[Brittany91]

Well im Brittany 24 i was adopted a and abused as a child but i never fit in i was always the good kid. respected my mom so much it wasnot till i was 18 when the wrong crowd came. I was the Older enabler getting beer in hs. That led to xanax and a bunch of good memories i wish i sober to remeber then other drugs came i was doing everything under the sun x herion roxys etc.I use to do music had my own studio and now i cant even remeber my own songs or have the motivation to get into my music. My family awalys see my worst side since i dont go out or have friends is really weird and since it hard to find pills in my area i started to drink beer loqour which is not pretty for a 24 year old. I only been sober a day but i really need some guidness and motivation

[thebearcbc]

I’m a little nervous to write something on here. I don’t have a typical addiction, and I’m not addicted to alcohol or drugs. So I hope that I’m still welcome.

I engage in self harm, more specifically cutting. It feels a bit silly as I didn’t start until I was 26 years old, and I’m now 28. Typically people see this as a teenage affliction.

It’s been 2 months and 12 days since I last cut myself. Before that, I lasted 29 days without cutting. I think about doing it every single day.

[Robin]

@thebearcbc

Thanks for sharing, I realise it was difficult.
I just wanted to let you know that you are completely welcome here. This forum isn’t just for alcoholics or drug addicts.

Addiction takes many forms and everyone is allowed to discuss them.

Congratulations on your recovery. I hope it lasts indefinitely this time.

[Robin]

Hi @Brittany91

Welcome to Talking Sober and thanks for sharing.
Your situation sounds serious. I’m by no means a qualified counsellor, but I can give you one piece of adivce: take it one day at a time. I would also say try and speak to someone, be it a doctor, therapist or a sponsor.

[Volatile]

@thebearcbc I used to be very into self-harm as a way to deal with the emotional pain that I was in… I haven’t hurt myself in about a year, and if I can do it so can you. If you need to talk, just let me know. That’s what I’m here for.

[thebearcbc]

Thanks so much. A year feels so far away, like I could never do it. I’m just so afraid that something will happen, or I’ll get into a crisis and revert back to it. I think about it several times a day, every single day.

[Volatile]

@thebearcbc I know that feeling very well… That’s how I felt about getting clean from heroin. I’m not gonna lie, it takes a lot of work. Have you seen a therapist at all?

[Rikk]

Hi!
My names Rikk, been sober now for a little over a month.
This is my 3rd go at it, my last time sober lasted 4 years, not sure what made me think i could go back to drinking again and it not end up bad for me and everyone around me but i did, and it did, so here i am again.
I’m not going to get into that much detail or break down my lifes story, just wanted to introduce myself and say that i really appreciate this app.

[Volatile]

@Rikk Third time’s a charm

[Robin]

Welcome @Rikk. Thanks for sharing and good luck

[thebearcbc]

Oh yeah. I see a therapist just about weekly, I’m on medication, I have state services, etc. But sometimes… a lot of times… it’s just not enough. Sometimes I’m afraid to tell people because I have had the police called on me before and they’ll take me to the hospital.

[Volatile]

I felt the same way about therapy, which is why i stopped going. The reason I ask is that I’m not really sure how to help you… I honestly don’t even know exactly why i stopped cutting myself. I think one day i realized that all my emotional pain could often be attributed to the actions of terrible people… And I decided i want going to let them affect me that way anymore.

[ymvbtown]

Hey everyone. I’m Erik.

I’m 38, married with 3 kids and live and work in Silicon Valley. My addiction is alcohol. I’ve made it past my worst days of drinking which came in my early 20s following the sudden death of my father. I’ve had 4 alcohol related arrests, but have thankfully not killed anyone and have only spent a handful of days in jail. Now a days, I usually drink on weekends or vacations only, but I am a binge drinker.

I’m 5 days sober and my primary motivation is health, both physical and mental.

Looking forward to working together to conquer our demons.

[ymvbtown]

Hey Rikk…could you talk a bit more about how the relapse happened after 4 years? Did you simply reach a point where you felt “cured” and thought you could drink like a normal person? I’m just curious because I’ve never made it anywhere near that far and always assumed if I ever made it that far there’s no way I could relapse.

[VonDutch]

Hi @Rikk. That is a sobering story of yours man. I attended the AA a couple of times and I remember stories of people that have been clean for 25 years and one day had a drink and literally carried on where they left off. I was sober for a year and, like you, eventually forgot just how bad alcohol was for me and became a bit relaxed and thought that because I abstained from alcohol for a year, I could now control it. Big mistake. Here I am now, 5 days sober after alcohol brought some renewed destruction into my life…

[Maika]

Hi,

My name is Maïka, I’m 37 years old and I live in Belgium. Alcohol has always had a central role in my entire life. My father, aunt and grandfather are or have been alcoholics.

I didn’t do any alcohol or drugs up to the age of 20. I was studying at that time and then started to experiment with drugs. This lasted for about 3 years. I couldn’t cope with the drugs and was really getting paranoid, didn’t come out of the house anymore, in the shop it felt like all the shelves were going to collapse on my head. Eventually I went to see my doctor. I had a few years then with ups and downs.

Then I met my current boyfriend, 6 years ago. He’s a very demanding person and after living on my own for about 10 years before it has been very difficult to adapt to a life living in a same house with somebody. I’ve never felt comfortable in his house. So for the last 3 years (since I moved into his house), I have been drinking way to much, put on loads of weight and started drinking as soon as I got out of my dayjob in the car. By the time I got home most of the time I had drunk at least half a bottle of liquor, Vodka, Whiskey, Pineau, Port, Elexir, whatever was strong enough to make me feel comfortable for the evening.

Last year I decided to cut the drinking on 1 September. On 14 October I was still sober, but really collapsed. The 1.5 month before I had been very busy, trying to catch up with everything I neglected over the past years. It felt as if I lost half of my brain in one minute. I was taken into hospital and stayed in psychiatric emergency for 5 days. After that I could go home with surveillance. I was off work for 3.5 months, going to day clinic 2 days a week.

Since 1 Feb I’m working full-time again. I have bought a house and would like to be able to move to the house sometime next year before the summer. A lot of work to do.
I will be living on my own again, because for me this seems to be the most comfortable situation.

Since January I have had a few relapses and really realize that social drinking is not an option for me.

I have now been sober for 9 full days now and I love this app! It really helps me to get from Wednesday to Wednesday without using the alcohol. I go to AA every week and to be honest think it is really important to keep me alert.

I feel a lot better now without the alcohol and would like to keep it this way. I love this forum and hope we can help each other get through the difficult periods and share our positive experiences.

[Maika]

Brittany, it starts with one day, one hour even. I know it is really hard, the first few days are not nice, you’ll suffer, but after one week, you will start to feel better, slowly. Stay strong, don’t give up on being sober. We’ll have to support each other.

Sometimes it helps for me if I try to think of one positive thing alcohol or drugs has brought me…

If you then realize you cannot find anything, maybe that should give the courage to carry on sober x

[Maika]

Hi don’t focus on the year, focus on the hour, the day. An idea might be to put some post-its up in the house, to help you through a crisis, something to think about. Find something for yourself that alarms you or ‘wakes you up in a crisis’. Now you think about it several times a day, but after a while this will get less and less. Try to find something alternative to do when you are craving. Maybe write it down here, that can help or have a walk outside, away from where the crisis started.
Good luck x