Here is an old thread about mushrooms but the context/ theme is similar. I found it helpful at the time so sharing in case you do too!
It is something I have reflected more on since. I know a couple of people who have done the Ayahuasca thing. One was on medication at the time (which you’re not supposed to do) and didn’t get anything from it. The set up of it all coupled with the emotional vulnerability and desperation of the people there to find ‘an answer’ seemed to be at least driving factor for any efficacy. And of course there were people who followed the guy that led the ceremony all over the world, so any transformational effects seemed to require regular topping up for them. It also sounded like there is some significant potential for exploitation of vulnerabilities there - not exclusive to this type of thing of course, but still something I thought about. The other person goes to Brazil regularly and she feels like it helps her but it does need regular topping up and it has noticeably affected her mannerisms etc. To me it seems that the amount of time and energy people invest in chasing chemical solutions to find spiritual progress is similar to that of doing it in a non-chemical way.
After a couple of years of depression, lots of spiritual searching, meditation, some therapy etc, the thing that helped me best was finding the right medication. I now find it quite hard to connect with some of the spiritual thinking that felt so important at the time. Maybe that is just the nature of change or maybe I was more easily able to access some deep stuff while my emotions were so strong. I don’t know what my path forward will be, whether I want to reduce the medication or what will happen if I choose to. I’m not sure if I have just ducked out of what I think could (or maybe even should) have been a longer and possibly harder but ultimately more beneficial process. When I am feeling unsure, I try not to make decisions but wait to see if things will become clearer with time.
It sounds like you have been through so much and I can only imagine how appealing the idea of some immediate relief and healing sounds. Of course we all have our own journeys to take and decisions to make. I don’t think there really is a right or a wrong way, just the path we choose.
I hope you find a way forward that works for you 
