Is my current situation holding me back or am I looking for excuses

[ANew]

My husband has his own issues to deal with. I’m desperate to stop drinking but I feel he doesn’t give me the support I need. I think if I lived on my own I would have been asleep hours ago.

[GrnOtterPop]

I have only one suggestion; go sit in at a meeting. Listen to some stories. There might be some comfort in there.

[ANew]

I know…I fantasize about someone helping me. But only I can do that

[Sober_Ninja]

My husband still drinks.
I am almost 4 years sober. My sobriety and alcoholism are mine and mine alone, same with his. The only thing I have control over is myself and the way I react to things. I choose to be sober, and be kind. I get frustrated with him sometimes, but anger at his drinking doesn’t do either of us any good. Eventually his drinking slowed down a lot, and now he only has a couple drinks on Friday evenings.
That being said, you are holding yourself back. I have complete faith in your ability to not use your husband as an excuse. If I can do it you can do it.

[SassyRocks]

Hey there! My husband drinks, so I hear you. It can feel so challenging living with someone who drinks. I don’t know the heart of your marriage, only you know if it is a relationship worth having…certainly not every marriage or relationship is a value add to our lives. I just wanted to let you know we can and do get sober even while living with a partner who drinks.

Take a look at some of these threads, there is plenty of info and inspiration in them.

Does your partner still drink? Some threads you may find helpful

Mine does and I discussed it fairly frequently when I was on here more. I know this question comes up a lot…How do I get sober with a partner who drinks? So often we are told we have to avoid situations and people who drink, sometimes it is even suggested that we cut them from our lives entirely. For those of us with partners who drink and whom we love and respect, that is not practical or helpful advice. Obviously some of us cannot stay with an abusive, reckess or violent alcoholic, but as we …

For me, once I got that my sobriety was 100% my responsibility and 100% separate from my husband drinking, it helped me string one day after another. Keep the focus on YOU and your sobriety. It can be done!!

[ANew]

You are a beautiful person! … I’m such a mess right now… I’m
Looking to place the blame elsewhere.

[Sober_Ninja]

We are all messes sometimes. The good thing is that you can reach out and connect with other people who have been, or still are where you are.
I want nothing but the best for you, and I hope once your days get a little higher that your husband will see the good it’s doing and support you.

[AllyP]

I’m in the same boat. Today is my day 1 and was supposed to be the same for my husband too, but he already broke. We’re in the process of getting separated and while this is my journey to sobriety I am so ready and welcome to the freedom to make it my journey, alone.