The question is stupid… I know that. But is there a magic number of days after which the craving starts becomming a motivation? I try to turn my thoughts around but the self destructive side in me is fighting… hard…
It’s not a stupid question at all. I think it’s one we all strive to have the answer for. I haven’t had a craving in a long while. Doesn’t mean I can’t have one tomorrow. Or the day after.
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Not a stupid question. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can speak for me: December 3, 2017. Day 1.
Now understand that I had a whole bunch of “Day 1s” before. I’d go 2, 3, 5, 21, 30 days, and then I’d allow myself to go back to my DOC. I’d find an excuse to give myself permission.
What was different this time, was I had accepted “Never again” and “Sober forever”. I had accepted the first part, but never the second part. That’s what made it different. I would never again take a drink, and I would pursue sober forever. I didn’t have a single craving that was more than a momentary, passing thought, and haven’t had one, for which I am so grateful.
That’s what made that Day 1 “magic” for me.
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I want to punch this question in tue face! Aggression is never the answer, but I feel like I had no choice
Punch your disease in the face. In that case agression is good.
hi stevie was there a certain circumstance that brought about this new thinking or it just happened?
Yes. It was when I came home from church and went straight to my workshop, and started drinking at 10am Next thing I know, my wife is shaking me awake and asking if am coming up for dinner. I said “no” and went to bed.
The next day, Monday morning, my wife and I are both getting ready for work. She says "I know you are grieving for your Mom. She’s gone. You still have a life and a family, and all you are doing is drinking, not living. As soon as work is done, you start and pass out. Your daughter gives you a hug and kiss every night before bed. Do you even know? How many hugs do you have left, before she doesn’t want to hug you anymore?
It was like getting hit between the eyes by a bolt of lightning. In that moment, I quit forever. No doubt. No retreat. No surrender. This is a fight to the death, and I plan on winning.
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thanks for sharing mate thats a great story:)
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That made me cry. That part about your daughter kissing you. I’m glad we’re both clean and sober so we can feel see hear touch the hug and kiss from our cherished kid…