I am sober, but have no interest in 12 step, disease based concepts. Rather than debating this, I would rather speak with sober people on the same page.
13 Likes
I definitely fall into that category. I have no interest in the traditional AA due to not having a belief and their “higher power“ or the 12 steps in general.
I’m grateful for all they have done for those who struggle and it’s just not for me.
6 Likes
There are many of us here that aren’t in the 12 step program, myself included. What ever works for you to stay sober is good enough.
11 Likes
So why don’t you share what’s working for you? There are so many programs out there including SMART and darma just to name a couple. Here’s a link with a ton of options: Resources for our recovery
14 Likes
I think I understand what you are saying - you would like to connect with people who use tools and strategies other than AA to get and remain sober?
In a way we are all on the same page as we all have a common goal - not to pick up that first drink. I have lots of various different things I do to help me, are you looking for something specific that can connect you to other like minded people?
7 Likes
I just made a decision to stop the bullshit and not look back. It’s only been a few months, but a long time ago I tried 12 steps, and I found their monopoly of so much recovery nauseating in the light of all these scientific advances. I think SMART is terrific. I also have no issues with anyone else’s beliefs or methods (well maybe the scientology of Narcanon,) but otherwise not. I find many, but not all 12 steppers think that any other route is not genuine, that people who just stop and don’t have any dramatic rehashing or soul searching are just dry drunks bound to fail. They don’t allow for someone to say fuck this, and move on with life.
9 Likes
Hi Stephen, I’m your mirror image. 37 years heavy drinking and have tried official help on several occasions. It’s never worked, I hate the self righteousness. Then 32 days ago I just woke up bored and disappointed with myself. No hangover, probably still anaesthetised, I lay in bed for ten minutes thinking what a shallow, one-dimensional person I had become, and that was it. No drama or flashpoint. I would drink no more. I’m a happier person already, regaining interest in my life passions (other than booze). I shall check the links above and see which I can use for guidance but still keep at arm’s length. Good luck to you.
8 Likes
Tempest and The Luckiest Club (TLC) are online communities that don’t do dogma and may focus more on the science of addiction. I joined TLC and love their meetings. They do a lot of topics based on Buddhist principals, mindfulness, self-love, and staying in the present. I’m in touch with many members there on a daily basis. I also do AA meetings with a small group that has become great friends. We hang socially. Half have worked the steps, the other half has not. We aren’t looked down upon. I know there are many AA groups out there for agnostics.
10 Likes
I do not follow twelve step, however from learning about it I can definitely see positivity in the approach, it is a way of improving your outlook and improving life in a logical and step wise approach. I would not rule it out for the future. There are alternatives which follow a similar path, such as a more Buddhism focused approach. Just find a resource which suits you at this time and keep your mind open.
As for alcoholism being a disease, consider other diseases… For example
Diabetes: if this person consumes/doesn’t consume glucose it can have an adverse affect on them because their body is not built to process it nominally.
Celiac disease: if this person consumes gluten it can have an adverse affect on them because their body is not built to process it nominally.
Alcoholism: if this person consumes alcohol it can have an adverse affect on them because their body is not built to process it nominally… Etc
All bodies are not built the same, I think it’s reasonable to consider that a portion of the population are genetically disposed to react differently to alcohol because the addiction centers of their brains do not function nominally, and personally I consider this to be a disease in the same way that diabetes or celiac is.
9 Likes
After over 30 years of heavy alcohol consumption, I am celebrating 1 year of sobriety today.
I tried 12 step many times with no success. Finally, after suffering a seizure, I agreed to a pharmaceutical approach along with therapy, treating my underlying issues.
Here I am !
9 Likes
HI,
Thanks for replying. I love hearing stories like yours. I actually find not using, with me it was a combination of opiate that are injectable and Xanax. My only worry is the socializing bit. I t is not that I don’t go out, it is that I have cut ties with 99.9% of the people I would hang with on a daily basis and now want to go out all the time, but I literally have nobody to go out with. I am a very friendly social guy and really want to meet more lunatics like myself who are sober and want to go out. I know I will as things progress, but I want to go out now. I’m not fearful that it will lead to using, although that is why I feel stopping my extremely light drinking is wise too. Three drinks and heroin weighs heavily on my mind. Anyway good on you. Hope to see or hear more about your journey.
Stephen.
1 Like
Welcome to TS, Wallace!
Thanks for commenting. I’m dead to hear of others out there. Your points are valid, less so, IMHO, with diabetes, as that requires a medication being administered. Going to a daily meeting, is not a medication.
The Celiac comparison is close, as that requires not doing something to be treated. I think, if we meet halfway, and think of alcoholism as a condition, I can swallow that.
Thanks for replying. It is nice to hear from people with similar views. It is kind of ironic that we are on a platform inspired by 12 steps. I have no obsession with the amount of time, don’t plan on doing any milestones, and will always, essentially be the only one wh knows how long I have been sober. I chose the day a close woman friend bet me if I could go a year with no intoxication. I was already sober for a bit, but that is a day I knew, it was archived in my texts. I am happy for you and anyone who decides to make healthy choices. I think it is badness.
Stephen
3 Likes
Badass I meant.
Hey, thanks for replying. It seems I am not alone.
Stephen
1 Like
You seem to have a very cool mash up of things that work for you. I will check them out. I also go to one meeting a week. It sucks as it is all my sober friends in LA, and I am in Boston, but they know me and are great friend. The person who runs it is my ex wife, who has 18 AA years and really does believe in 'take what you want, leave the rest. I feel a bit weird saying alcoholic, but if I have to fudge 2 words to hang with a bunch of cool people, so be it. I like it here.
Thanks for commenting and right on, I don’t seem to be alone on this.
Stephen.
Not really. Just people who have made the ‘fuck this garbage’ decision, and don’t dwell on it. People who are sober, yet are more interested in the world and everything in it, than constantly talking in codified language, about not doing things they probably shouldn’t be doing anyway.
Thanks for replying, and good on you. Being clear headed rules.
Stephen
Yes, but it was the only example ever of medicine following a folksy cure, rather than using anything it found useful and moving past it.
The decision to label it as a disease was heavily contested by insurance companies, as they would now be obliged to pay for treatment, and heavily endorsed by doctors, who would now be paid for treating it. It was a fiercely debated decision, and I believe it is wrong. If we could meet half-way, and call it a condition, I could fully endorse that. It is a condition cured by not putting certain things in our bodies, similar to, but far more serious than, acne. Acne goes away by not eating grease, washing one’s face, and perhaps the application of some ointments. Acne can also be genetic, but it is still easily cured by the things mentioned above.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Stephen.
2 Likes
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. I dont think talking sober platform is a 12step AA based platform. I joined this community because i wanted to hear from other sober people what helped them to deal with their addictions
12 Likes
1249 days and went to classes once. Wasn’t for me But still fighting the good fight 
Find what works for u and run with it.
1 Like