There’s a female in my AA home group. We used to be friends before I relapsed. Now that I’m back she acts fake around me now she doesn’t even try to hide her true feelings. One night I was sharing and after my share she said “I could share all my crap too, but I’ll share about recovery” I’ve noticed whenever a male talks to me she tries to get his attention. I’ve seen her backstab other women in the group so I don’t even talk to her anymore. I honestly don’t really like her and don’t like being in the same room with her. I KNOW it’s “me” that I have to work on and I’m the one with the problem. I pray for her and I’m cordial but I feel fake because I rather ignore her. How do you guys respond to someone you don’t really like?
I think you have every right to set your boundaries and protect your energy from somebody who seems rather toxic.
I personally just wouldn’t engage with her at all. Not even to pretend to be nice.
When someone in my life proves to be bad for my mental health or makes me feel uncomfortable, I deny them access to me.
You don’t owe her anything. 🩷
I love this! Thank you!
Thank you
There’s always going to be some people who just rub us the wrong way or that we don’t get on with. Some people you just don’t like. I think it’s normal for everyone to have experienced someone like that in their life. I have the inability to hide my true feelings because my face tells it all and I don’t do fake nice. If it’s someone I have to see or come in contact with often I set boundaries and keep them even if it makes things feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable on both sides. Maybe think about some good ways to keep a boundary and also to not take personally or to heart the negative comments or things she says about/to you. It brings shame to her not to you.
Exactly! I know I have to work on me regarding the way I react/ respond to her and some of the things she says.
It’s difficult when your natural reaction is to go on the defensive. There are some environments/times when it just isn’t appropriate. But sometimes it is also okay to speak up and defend yourself but need to be able to do it wisely and not out of extreme emotion.
Easy to say but hard to do…
I leave them alone.
Wow, i dont blame you for wanting to keep ur distance. That comment she made about ur share in the group was uncalled for imo.
Theres been a few occasions in the past where ive had unplesant interactions with other woman in the rooms. Its okay to set boundaries. I used to tell them that if they had an issue with me, to go talk to their sponsor about it and to stop taking my inventory lol However i ALSO needed to talk to my sponsor about it and she advised me to pray for her. My sponsor reminded me that people (including myself) that go to 12 step meetings are most often unwell. We all have baggage and stuff to work thru. So i was reminded to keep that in mind. This woman isnt well, otherwise she wouldnt be hurting people with her comments. Hurt people, hurt people. I have always just set my boundaries and eventually they sort of went on their own way. Dont let her rent space in ur head
Ignore them not worth the hassle
Well, it depends on context. Here it’s a pity that some people hijack safe space for their own agenda and I am sorry you have to face this behavior.
Let’s face it, in life we have to deal with terrible people if we want to get things done eventually. If you know enough people, it’s guaranteed some of them are terrible. We can’t cut them all off. It’s true in life and definitely true in the workspace as well.
The best strategy I have is to study and understand their pattern and train of thoughts. Know what will trigger a response or not. After a while you get others to also see what you saw in this person and sometimes it cools them down. Food for thought. For what it’s worth…
Hang in there.
I think you’ve got my sponsor
As ones she was our friendsas you mentioned try to view her through from her point of view.She might have her own unresolved issues, and her behavior could stem from insecurity.It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but seeing her humanity may help some of the tension you feel.your recovery is the most important thing. Don’t let your dislike for one person distract you from the larger picture of why you’re there. Keeping that as your focus can help you rise above interpersonal drama and stay grounded in your purpose.
Let go ,let god ,and let someone without a programme deal with her….one word …karma
I totally agree with you