Hi guys…this is not an uplifting post on how I overcame this or that, how grateful I am or how I learned something new.
I’m feeling completely overwhelmed right now and it’s been over a year since I actually thought to myself “what is the point?”
To make a long story short, I’ve been dealing with uncertainty about my family - whether we will continue living where we are or move to a different country. I’ve been preparing for both and been taking care of the family a lot by myself, as my husband is elsewhere. I put on a brave face and make sure the kids are ok, that everyone’s needs are met, but I’m really struggling. I don’t know where we will be in a month, I don’t know what will happen to our jobs…
I feel this sinking feeling - like a shock - in the pit of my stomach all the time. It’s really equating to physical pain. I try to get busy, exercise, do whatever, but it’s getting worse and worse. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Is it normal to feel physical pain as a result of anxiety about the near future? Do I need medical help? I seriously just feel more and more that I want to shut down and sleep. I’m worried.
I know I’ll crawl out of this eventually, because I have to…I have my health and so does my family. In the big scheme of things, I know I’m grateful and blessed. but this is no fun.
I’ve been even looking at stoicism as a philosophy to help me frame what I can and cannot control.
While it is true that Anxiety can cause physical ailment if the pain persists please see your doctor, it’s better to be safe than sorry. If it is anxiety I’m sure they can help with that too but you don’t wanna risk the chance of it being something else.
It absolutely is unfortunately. I know I have had in the past, quite a bit of physical pain due to extreme anxiety. It can be debilitating and im so sorry ur going thru this right now.
When i was going thru something similar, i did need to seek some support and help for how to better manage my anxiety. I needed to learn better coping skills and ways to calm myself and to refocus on the current moment. My anxiety was most often future-based and so alot of the things that i was anxious over, hadnt happened yet. So a huge huge part of my way of dealing with it was to ground myself and focus on mindfullness and being in the moment.
First off, I am sorry you are anxious, stressed and in limbo. I know all of those feelings myself and this year has been particularly challenging with them. In fact, I was just talking with my therapist yesterday about still being in limbo waiting on xyz and how unsustainable that is. I just wanted to share that, so you know you are not alone.
I think it is 100% normal that our bodies can present physical ailments when we are anxious or stressed. Our muscles tense, we contract, our breathing can feel labored and difficult. Or, like you, our stomach churns and feels a certain way. Wanting to sleep is a normal reaction/feeling when we are on overwhelm. Our body wants to use its reserves to keep all systems functioning and to give your mind/body the rest it is craving.
I would be remiss if I didn’t suggest a visit to your doctor for testing to rule out possibilities.
Finding ways to handle stress and anxiety has been #1 for me this year. I found a tele therapist and they are incredibly helpful in helping me realize that yes, my life is messy AF right now and yes, I need to use my tools to cope with stress and anxiety and limbo and overwhelm.
Journaling
Warm baths
Getting as much sleep as possible
Meditation
Yin yoga
Running
Eating fresh foods
Drinking lots of water
Being on here
Tele therapy
Talking with friends
Being gentle with myself
Box breathing / other breathing techniques
Reading Sharon Salzberg and Pema Chodron
You are normal and you are not alone. Your body is sending signals and you are listening.
Thank you. I’ve been able to schedule a visit to a doctor tomorrow morning…at least I should screen out whether there is something beyond the emotional side of it all.
Sending you strength and hugs
You’re not alone, I also do feel physical manifestions of inner turmoil, exhaustion, anxiety etc. Good that you will get a check up with a doctor because too much stress can kill a human.
As to living in limbo with severe uncertainity: You are not alone I don’t have to add something to the good advise/shares already given, I just wanted to let you know it’s ok to react this way on perstistant uncertainity. I hope and prey your life will be stable again soon
Yes, change and uncertainty can cause anxiety, which can manifest physically. It can be mentally exhausting as well as physically tiring due to high levels of cortisol.
Do you need medical help? I’m not sure there’s anything a doctor or therapist could do, short of prescribing something like Xanax, which comes with a whole bunch of risks and side effects.
Do you have a de-stressing ritual? Some time for exercise or meditation, maybe a few moments to read something to give your mind a break. I hear dark chocolate helps too. I’m a big fan of naps. Naps are hugs we give to ourselves.
Being stressed by life is natural. Learning to manage stress in healthy ways is key, especially for those of us who previously used addictive substances for this same purpose.
Thank you for sharing the grounding technique. I’ll give it a good go. I feel like sometimes my thoughts start spiraling and I really need to have a clear list of things to do when this happens.
It is. And in my case, being in limbo but also having a deadline on when the lease on my house expires (in a month!) is not sustainable at all! It’s like being in a river that ends in a waterfall, and not knowing if there will be a branch I can grab onto!
I’m adding everything you wrote to my list. I’m usually disciplined about exercise, healthy eating, and taking some brief moments to appreciate what I have, but I’m under so much pressure I started to shut down. I need to get back onto those habits.
I hope your situation improves as well. Sending love and hugs your way - thank you for taking the time to share
It sounds super stressful what you are going through and I am so sorry you are feeling this physically. I would be overwhelmed for sure as well. When life throws things like this at me, I tend to switch into survival mode and try to soldier through. It had me end up in hospital twice, because I ignored what my body was telling me. While I agree that it’s never wrong to see a doctor and be on the safe side, reading the above, I was wondering if you had someone to adress your own worries and fear with the whole moving situation with?
Sending you a firm hug
Been feeling that feeling for decades. And I still do at times. Feeling it a bit right now. Uncertain about the future. Uncertain about now. That feeling might have been the number one reason for me to booze and drug, to get away from that, while in the long run all that did was make it worse, so needing more and more of booze and drugs to keep that feeling at bay.
Mindfulness, meditation, grounding techniques, physical exercise, psychotherapy that’s aimed at both body and mind and the connection between the two, all helped me reduce it, with differing degrees of success. In general doing healthy stuff that helps with balancing my body, my mind, my soul and the connections between them.
Keep going Anna. Going back is not an option. And to answer your question in the title: yes, this is normal. But there’s no ‘or’. Because you need help too. Can’t do this life alone. We need each other.
Anxiety was absolutely painful physically at times for me. Looks like you heeded suggestions and will be seeing doctor. Very good call. No need to be dealing with anxiety with everything else going on. I’m certainly rooting for you and family to make the right decision and that things will work out smoothly.
I’m so sorry about your friend…thank you for sharing his story.
The irony of it all is that 4 years back I was coming home after a job interview and found myself at the verge of a panic attack (while in active addiction) and stopped by this same doctor.
Could not talk about the drinking part. Asked for exams explaining that my heart was racing and I was feeling really unwell, about to pass out. The results showed everything ok, except for my liver. It was the wake up call for me to start trying to quit.
Fast forward 4 years, drinking is no longer part of the equation, I didn’t dwell too much on mental state while talking to her, but said I am under a lot of stress and want to run exams to rule out any physical problems.
Will take some time to schedule all that needs to be done, but it’s a start.
I talk some here and there, but I’m finding it very difficult to really open up about the full extent of it. I cannot talk to my husband because every time I do, he says his level of stress is tenfold. I can’t talk to my family because then they will blame him for putting me in this situation. Friends…I feel like I’m shutting everyone out at the moment because if I mive I may never see them again - if I don’t move, I don’t want them to start looking at me as someone who has another month in their lives.
I know this is a problem. I’m feeling very, very lonely and alone in this struggle.
Thank you so much, Menno. You always know exactly what to say…Yes, I waver sometimes - I think most of us do sometimes - and wonder if I should throw in the towel. I can’t thank you enough for each and every note. And for the reminder that going back is not an option
and im so sorry ur going thru this right now.
