This isn’t about us (or your family) it’s about you. What’s your relationship like with yourself? What’s your understanding of yourself?
Getting sober is a test of commitment and follow-through and learning. I want to be absolutely clear here: you are capable of doing it if you choose to, in your heart. But it’s gonna take resolve.
You have to search for sobriety the same way a person searches for water in the desert. You need it to live.
Have you looked at a recovery group? For me that was a huge turning point - I joined one in my city. There’s lots, many have online options as well if necessary:
Resources for our recovery
Take care and remember: you’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.