I just thought it would have worked… i kept ob doing the same things…going to the same places… hanging with the same people… i just tought ot would have worked… back at day one… i wish so bad that i will make it this time… wish me well im such a mess and a disappointment!
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If you learn from it, it wasn’t a bad thing. I needed my relapse personally to understand more about what it would take for me to stay sober.
It sounds like you are seeing what went wrong. Reset the clock and make the changes. You can do it! You’re here, you want this!
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If nothing changes, nothing changes. Sober life is a lot different than the life we lead while in our use.
Don’t expect everything to just fall into place, you’re gonna have to do a lot of footwork and trudging to get to the sober life you crave.
Do you have a support network? People who know you’re struggling with addiction? Do you or have you tried an active program like AA, SMART recovery, celebrate recovery, IOP groups?
A change to daily habits is required for a change in your life, you can accomplish anything as long as you keep trying and working for it.
Hope to see you a lot more on the board, make yourself at home and get into the middle of the sober herd.
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Did you ever end up going to that NA meeting you mentioned in June?
I definitely wish you well, but you almost sound surprised that doing the same things led to the same result? If getting clean were as easy as just stopping this forum wouldn’t exist. Cocaine is a bitch and it’s highly addictive. You have to be willing to work hard, very hard, to get clean.
I’ve gone back and read through your previous threads and see that people have been telling you this for a while, but we can’t put the work in for you.
It seems like you have the desire to change. Now you have to translate that into effort.
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Hey,
There is no winning or losing, just a constant journey that is your life. That journey is way more pleasant sober and this one relapse is just one small hill in the progress of your journey. So look at it that way, stop seeing recovery as a big hill to climb. There is just you, walking your path. Plenty of crap in the past for sure, and plenty of obstacles ahead, maybe some bad people along the way. But when you really look around for it, there are bucket loads of good people and great experiences on your way.
So again, if you look at life a big journey and all you see is cr*p all around, try doing tiny things to change that. Go and volunteer to help a charity, go and take a sandwich and coffee and sit with a homeless person and chat for an hour, dig a veg patch in your garden and plant something, give some money to an animal shelter. Because when you stop and think that life is just your journey from birth to death, why not fill all the available time with happy experiences and forget all that bad stuff. Seriously, forget it. What does it change if you just hold on to all the bad stuff? You cant change the past, but the past can change you, or not… if you dont let it.
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If you learned from it, then you should feel accomplished. It’s part of your process, just don’t give up.
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Hi everyone! Thanks for your support! I’m one week sober and i have cravings more than ever… so this weekend I’m staying in! I appreciated your comments and i thank god there are people like you on earth:kissing_closed_eyes:
i ll keep you updated!
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No i didn’t because they do it at 18 and i work unitl 17.30 and they are 10km away from my job including traffic and everything i never make it on time! Buuuuut i found a group which does NA on Saturday that is my free day so im going tomorrow! As it is summer in italy i just hope they aren’t all away for holiday…
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Went in france for vacation without my friends… i waz triggered only onece but i had other things to do 
today is day 16! I will make it work this time! I’m starting swimmjng 3 times a week from next Monday, amd plus i m sining up for a weekend evening (friday and saturday) french course doing my best to be busy and stay out of drug-evniroment
Thanks y all for your support and for making me realize where i when mistaken…i really appreciate it ! Anyway i feel sooo goood now that i m a bit sober again! No brain fog i wake up super early… if i didn’t stop i would have lost my job 100%. I had way too many mood swings and the lack of sleep made me someone who i wouldn’t like to hang out or work with. things can only get better!
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