I don’t know what came over me to move to a new state with no support system or anything in place, it I’m struggling. I recently became single and had a miscarriage where I was given pain meds during my stay in the hospital and I’m struggling. I didn’t go out and get loaded, but having them in my system for even just a short period of time makes me feel like a newcomer again. I don’t know anyone here really, and I just really want to give it all up. I know I won’t, Ive worked really hard for my 2+ years of sobriety, but man is it hard today. My work has a work event today where there will be lots of alcohol and some of them are going to clubs afterwards, and they invited me. Part of me wants to go because I want to get to know them more, but also. I don’t want to die. They can drink like a normal person, I can’t. Should I even risk it? I’m really struggling with depression, loneliness and just craving using. I don’t know what to do. I can’t hit a meeting tonight because of the work event that I have to attend, but I sure wish I could. I need one. Right now, all I can think about is the momentary bliss of a relapse, and I know that my life would be destroyed if I go back out and I just don’t want to start over. If I even made it back into the rooms. So I’m kinda just venting I guess. If I let it out, I know it helps me stay sober, just today. But fuck. It’s hard today.
Sorry you’re having a rough go lately. Congrats on 2+ years.
I’d stay home if it was me and I was having a shit time. I would probably be more tempted to drink then.
Do you go to meetings? Might be a good place to meet some more sober people.
Hey hey, so sorry to hear you are struggling today. SO WELL DONE on 2 years! That is amazing and definitely not something to throw away. This highlighted section above jumped out at me.
You don’t want to die.
You know you can’t drink like normal people.
Is the work event compulsory for your employment? Can you call in sick and go to a meeting? I’m only at 7 months, but I know that when I am struggling, i need to STAY AWAY from any risky situations. And I always hightail it to a meeting and talk about it right away at the start. And if you are in a new area, ask for women’s numbers. My sober network in my area saves me from loneliness ALL THE TIME. We text and call and hang out and keep each other sane by talking about our feelings and talking program.
I’m s glad you reached out here and find some peace. Keep reaching out anytime. Sending you strength and courage 
If I would felt fulnerable like you are, I wouldn’t go! If you risk sobriaty, you risk it all.
There comes a time when you feel stronger and you can go with your co workers and socialize. But for now I would call in sick if I were you.
I wouldn’t risk it for the world.
Congratulations with your long strech of sober days!
Hey first of all congrats at 2 years! Thats a lot of baby steps and you can be proud of the 730+ days! I hope you managed the evening and made the choice where you felt most comfortable and you are feeling allright.
I would like to open up about something that really helped when I was in a depression and felt alone in this world. It’s about my colleagues as well and really helped me connect and appreciate being honest. It gave my colleagues a chance too reach out and give respect to the troubles I had.
It’s something I noticed a lot of people do. It starts with showing up on work and getting the normal question :Hey good morning how are you. And almost everybody always says Good man how are you. Even if they feel sad and lonely. Whenever I did that, I noticed that with those couple of words, my wall became bigger. I didn’t mix in with the morning conversations and it made me even sadder. I was so sure that nobody would understand what I was dealing with. But it also made me think about it. So one morning, after a night of contemplating, when a colleague asked: Hey how are you I just opened up. I said: I don’t know if you want to hear this, but not so good actually. I feel lonely and I’m depressed. There’s no need to talk about, but I just wanted to let you guys and girls know.
And just the fact that I could be honest, made me feel so much better. Everybody gave me a hug and some sweet words and had respect for it. It didn’t became a big story, I just said how I really felt, we talked about it for 5 minutes and that was it. The morning conversations continued and I didn’t mix in, but it didn’t isolate me. It made me feel less lonely and in following mornings other people opened up as well. And in the end this was one of the key moments of ending the depression. It also gave me the courage in the months after this to say at the end of my shift NO, when people asked if I wanted to drink a beer (I work in the restaurant business, so drinking is a standard) and join them. I said no, I’m fine with a cup of tea. And you know what, I expected people would make jokes and say aah come on, just one beer, don’t be a party pooper, but they didn’t, they never asked, they just got me a tea or even an virgin cocktail or whatever.
So in retrospect of you’re story, yes I would skip you’re event, but maybe you could tell somebody the next day why you didn’t go to the event. It’s a small step against isolation.
Hope you feel better today and I’m proud that you opened up in this community.
Please don’t go.
When i took opiates i never cared about much. Taking the pain killers can be causing some mental or thought differences then when your fully sober. We have to be mindful of changes in ourselfs when taking new medication. Are the changes worth it? Some cases yes but pain meds only temporarly. Like any drug its MIND altering…
I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I found the emotions after were very confusing and people often said thoughtless things. Being in a new place through this must be hard indeed.
You are in my thoughts.
Hang in there. You are so incredible to make it more than 2 years. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage - this can be a very difficult time. Be gentle and kind to yourself x Sending love 
Well done your 2+ years sober 
it is great achievement . Just focus on your soberity and remmember how life be came More enjoyable. So ıf you keep this on your mind you can feel comfortable at the event you can spend good time with your friends. I am not a huge experience about it , my motto Alcohol is a poison and now I prefer not To take it in my life again. All my best wishes for you