Today has been one of the worst days from fighting with family to having bad aches wish I can run away somewhere just be alone ahhhhhh why did I have to relapse this sucks! 
3 Likes
I just had this! I was doing somewhat okay (9 days) and then for some reason I thought ‘oh I’m fine. I can have a couple after the kids go to bed’ turned into 6 fucking days I don’t remember. Didn’t go to work. I lost 6 days, for absolutely nothing. Spent Monday throwing up blood all day and felt like I was dying. Tuesday was a bit better and today I feel okay but I’ve been bawling for 3 days because I hate myself so bad. I finally told a friend about my problem and told him how much booze I have in the house so he can come take it away for the weekend (more accountable I thought than just throwing it away and assuming I’m believed) this was definitely the worst it’s ever been and my need to quit is at a level that it’s never been so I’m hoping to be okay this time. I just can’t get over the feeling of hating myself so bad. You’re definitely not alone and we can get through this together 
4 Likes
Ask yourself the following:
Are you in a safe place?
Are you in a place that helps you stay clean?
Do you have a plan to prevent yourself from picking up?
Do you have another person who also wants you to stay clean? (And can help you do so)
If I were you, I would do everything in my power to be able to answer YES to all four of these questions. You’re not fighting a fair fight. You need every advantage you can get right now.
6 Likes
It does get better, but it doesn’t happen overnight. I found that I didn’t really start to achieve real peace and serenity until I started actively practicing the 12 steps in my daily life. Through AA I have learned that only I have the ability to affect my mood. Anything else is not in my control. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
7 Likes
This blood, was it bright red, or brown with maybe a green hue?
1 Like
Beating yourself up isn’t going to fix anything girlie. Come here and vent away and then put a smile on your face for still breathing today. I’m here for you!
1 Like
Details are different but you could write this about me, I diharrea my blood though lol.
It’s not fun. Hope you and I figure out how to remind ourselves what it’s like. Appreciate you sharing.
Started bright and then went more brown
1 Like
I’m glad you’re okay! This was definitely the huge wake up call I needed. I thought I had had some before but this was different.
Bright red is blood. Brown is bile from your pancreas. Both are bad signs. I would recommend seeing a doctor and being completely honest, as there could be life-threatening detox related considerations and other issues such as reduced liver function.
7 Likes
Yes go to the doctor!
1 Like
I hope your days get better ahead. Try taking a step back from certain Family members that are Not helping but Hurting during your Time of Sobriety!!! I’m hear if u need to talk or Vent!
2 Likes
@Sam3 thank you for sharing your story, and please get to a doctor. Throwing up blood or brownish stuff is not a good sign, and I feel like this needs medical attention, even if you feel like you’re getting better. I came clean to my doctor a month ago about my issues with alcohol. I had to swallow my pride, because I need to be healthy, and honest with my self and those who care for me (including my GP) 
3 Likes
How are you love ?
2 Likes
Eh I’m ok. Having women issues lol. How are you?
1 Like