Hi, I’ve got family over today to celebrate my son’s 16th birthday, it’s not till the 14th but doing a fam thing today. All morning all I can think about is alcohol. No one will bring any, everyone knows about my recovery etc it’s just on my mind. Before my recovery on these occasions I’d have a drink while getting food etc ready for everyone and continue throughout the day because my family are a handful and my mum is completely narcissistic and critical towards me so I’d gear myself up by drinking!! I’m over 6 years sober and have no intention of drinking, it’s just on my mind and struggling slightly so thought I’d air my feelings hoping this will help. Sorry for being a negative Nancy on a Sunday
I guess it strongly proves we should never be complacent
Whenever alcohol is on my mind, i find it really helpful to come here and just vent! I hope the celebration goes nicely for you!
Currently on the train and the couple sat near me have opened a bottle of prosecco. it’s 10:50am for me, and i weirdly feel happy for them. they seem to be going away. but i also feel happy it isn’t me!
We’re in the same time zone and thank you, I’m sure the celebrations will go well. As long as my boys, especially Samuel, have a good time then I’ll be grateful!
I know that feeling for sure! I’m glad it makes you feel happy it’s not you
Hey there. Good idea to vent your stress here!
Preparing for a family thing is always stressful. I feel you!
We are about to go to a ice rink skating and I am totally stressed out by just getting everything on time
Hang on there, it will pass, you’ll get through it.
Sending strength , patience , and hugs . And a little tiny bit of peace
Dude you’re not being a negative Nancy! you’re being awesome Nancy prepping a great bday thing for the son while being mindful of her feelings and employing sobriety tools! way to fucking go!
word of advice. my mother is overly critical and has what one would call strong narcissistic tendencies. it’s not what “made me drink” or anything, but I definitely used my drinking to numb up against the pain it brought me to be around her. and to have missed out completely on the support and goodwill others seem to haven gotten from their mums. that made me sad and always yearning which I totally drowned in drink.
I have worked on our relationship in long term psychotherapy and while it was hard, it has changed finally, 4.5yrs after getting sober. you’re six years along - maybe it’s time to address that pain and make some changes there. you deserve it. likewise regarding other family members and dynamics. if the thoughts of drinking still come, there is still work there that you can do to make things better for yourself.
lots of love and have a great day w the family!
Thank you @acromouse your kind words mean a lot. Good luck with the ice skating today, I’m sure once you’re all there it’ll be an absolute blast!! Have a brilliant day friend.
Thank you also @Faugxh and for your words of advice. I’ve had therapy regarding my mum aswell as other things, my narcissistic ex husband who literally destroyed me emotionally. My mum mainly stems back to when I was young and I didn’t get shown any love etc. she was very cold with me and controlling. Anyway, therapy helped to understand a lot. I always swore, when I was young, that I would never treat my children in the same way. She had the same from her mum, so I’m grateful I stopped the cycle. I don’t know where this mornings feelings have come from, I guess sometimes they sneak back in. Have a blessed day my friend!
Congratulations on 6 years of sobriety, you rock! I hope your party celebrations bring a positive and fun atmosphere for your family and friends. It’s interesting to hear you mention the thought of drinking can still pop up despite such a stellar effort with dropping it. I’m glad you vented here, because I am 3 days into my first (and hopefully only) sober journey, and went to my partner’s 40th birthday bash with a wonderful group of friends whom we haven’t seen in years. Alcohol and other drugs were present, yet, I wierdly felt strong enough to resist temptation over the weekend. While I’m proud of this achievement, I too had thoughts of drinking while making dinner after we arrived back home. These thoughts turned into cravings, which drew me here for support. Thank you for your post, it has pulled me through a challenging situation. Sending supportive vibes your way!
That’s really it. Habit. Together with the old ‘drinking will help with life’ lies our addicted minds come up with. I’m glad you know better. Never again friend. Happy you’re here. Hope your day will be good. Hugs.
I love seeing people reach out when feeling vulnerable bc it shows how well this support system works. I know it’s going to be on your mind but once the festivities begin, your mind will be so busy with other things. It’s awesome nobody will show up with alcohol in support of your sobriety so that’s a big thing already. Try putting on some of your favorite music and dancing (good or bad) around while you finish prepping everything. Happy 16th to your son! I hope the thoughts pass soon and you have the best day.
Thank you for your kind words and HUGE congrats on 3 days Elliot and not being tempted when you were out. Thats friggin amazing, well done. I’m glad your feelings passed ODAAT
@Mno it really is a habit aswell as addiction thay can rear its ugly head. Sooo appreciative of being here and s back my friend
For such a long time I felt so embarrassed to reach out and share my vulnerability but I know it helps and also sharing our emotions sometimes helps others. I’m cooking my arse off at the mo in between coming in here. My heart melts at the response from you guys. Definitely put me in a better mindset thank you
Hello, I too feel this pull during family events. Sometimes I have to go to my room and chill a bit because my family still drinks around me. Its alright though, I’ve accepted that I can no longer drink or use drugs…its not they’re fault. I like that your family respects and helps you with your sobriety, thats really important. I have a little over 5 years and I still feel this urge to drink and use…I know that’ll last forever though .
Congratulations on the 6 years and being able to say no every day. Keep it up!
Thank you and thanks for sharing that. Must be hard when your family drinks around you. I can go to a family event, they’ll drink and it doesn’t bother me as much but in my house I won’t have it. I don’t even eat food that has alcohol in it or even flavourings, I don’t trust myself so what’s the point. Congratulations on 5+ years, that’s amazing!!