Some days I’m 100 percent motivated. For sure I know I am going to want and stay sober. I know I’m moving forwards daily and I am beyond happy. Then there’s days when a problem arises. I’m going through something. And I’d sit back and be like well damn, this is one of those times where I’d be pounding shots of Bacardi or downing cans after cans of that nasty seltzer beer. I think it’s times like these where… I’m really not sure how to put it but I guess where I am realizing that the situation that would make me turn to alcohol. So I’m trying to put my mind on other things that don’t make think that turning to alcohol is the answer. It’s times where reality is real and life is lifing when I want to drink the most. Dealing with reality and my feelings sober is overwhelming. It was my coping mechanism. I was able to just put them aside and drink. Now they need to be faced. Head on. Right away. But I’m trying. I’ve been trying to find a sponsor. Because in times like these and I feel low I wish I had someone to just call or text I’m not a big on the phone talker. I’m apparently In need of accountability partners, too. I’m coming up on 90 days sober and I’m so proud. I’ve only ever made it to 60. But I’m going to make it.
Congrats on almost 3 months sober. Having to sit with feelings and not be able to just numb out is the hardest part of sobriety for me also. Use the people on here the same as you would a sponsor. Get on and vent, complain, ask for suggestions, There’s always somebody on here.
Congrats on 90 days! That’s a BIG win! I think facing life’s challenges without grasping for some sort of comfort can be very difficult but it teaches us more about ourselves and about being humans, really. Nobody wants suffering, but life gives us suffering anyway. Everyone wants peace and happiness but they sometimes elude us. So we just keep going, searching and learning.
Meditation, connection with your inner power, connection with others, trusting the process, all of these are important.