I’ve been sober for a year and one month. Sometimes I dream at night about using, sometimes I feel the taste of it, the smell of it, I know and I won’t relapse and all but man, sometimes gets to me… I got a chance at life once again but I’m afraid that I’ll mess it up. I have these thoughts pretty frequently. I know I’m not alone but I still feel alone and empty sometimes. I know I don’t wanna be the person that I once was but the darkness keeps creeping on me. I know some people may have it worse than me but I guess that this is the limit of what I can carry. I don’t want to be the guy that ruins the mood but I don’t really know where else I could pour my soul and not feel guilty.
Thank you for sharing @TheNotorious sobriety doesnt have to be this painful. Recovery is about finding tools to live life sober and free. It seems you are still haunted. Dont listen to addiction it wants your soul. Fight for your freedom. Theres hope
First of all, congratulations on your sober time. That’s a huge deal. When you were in the throes of addiction did you ever think you’d be sober this long??
Second, those feelings sound really hard and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Is there anything going on in your life that good right now? Anything you can build/focus on?
Welcome to the community friend. Well done on your 13 months of sobriety
Having a bit of fear of going back to the life we no longer want to live is healthy in a way. When we forget the horrors of our addiction is when our addict mind tries to convince us that it wasn’t so bad.
Having these thoughts so frequently may be a sign that you need to add more recovery tools to strengthen your sobriety. I am glad you found this community. This space is filled with individuals all on the same path and dealing with similar struggles. You will find lots of support, love and advice here. Hope you take time to read around and join in.
You are on the right path - keep fighting for yourself and take it One Day At A Time
Hey there, glad u here! Congratulations on ur sober time!! How have u been since u posted?
For me it was sort of around year 2-3 when things started getting “easier”. The 1st year, I seemed to focus on just staying clean and sober. The 2nd year was tougher for me in my opinion bcuz i was really working on learning how to handle life’s situations and troubles in a different way. Learning how to cope with emotions in a healthier way also started to happen.
As for the disturbing dreams, the dreams rarely happen now that im 4+ years in. In the beginning tho, they happened often. When they DO pop up now, its usually bcuz Ive had a very emotional or stressful day and i guess its my subconscious trying to cope with this stress, in old ways. Maybe u can relate to that?
Remember, alot of us have used n drank for many, many years, and so itll take some time for us to learn and cope differently Even tho 1+ years in is quite abit of sober time, its still not very much in the grand scheme of things (as compared to how long we have used n drank for).
Is there anything going on in your life that good right now? Anything you can build/focus on?
Even tho 1+ years in is quite abit of sober time, its still not very much in the grand scheme of things (as compared to how long we have used n drank for).