I have been struggling with Methamphetamine/Alcohol for almost 5 yrs. Since June 2021 which is when my mother passed away I became very dependent on meth. It took over my lif. I started stealing from my family, I lied to anyone, I played my friend’s/family, I started doing things for it that are shameful. I have been in and out of jail I know at least 10 time’s. I went to rehab in Sevierville TN about 2 months ago. I only did 27 day’s. When I got out I relapsed and caught another charge against my ex girlfriend. I’m currently on probation, just got out of a four year toxic relationship. Thing’s aren’t going the way I want them to go. However I have not been using on a daily. I have been using only on the weekend’s. Since I have been home from rehab God has opened door’s for me. I have a job, my family let me come back home, I’m one payment away from getting my license reinstated, I have a great support system, I work with my big cousin, I don’t associate with most of the people I use to, I went to church last Sunday. I have clothes, food, shoes, a dog named Cobie, shelter, a loving/understanding family. I have a opportunity to go to another job making 25$ a hr. All of those things are important to me. I don’t want to go back down the path I went down for two year’s. I completely lost myself. I became someone I didn’t like. I know that there is a better life. I just want to be free of any type of bondage, evilness, greed, hate and discouragement. I want to surround myself with positive peers, someone who loves me regardless of my flaws and addiction. I also want to get visitation with my only son who is adopted. I got goals/dreams that I can still accomplish. I just know that I feel weak right now. Well I know that I’m weak right now. Tonight I want to rededicate myself to my sobriety. I want to work the steps, find me a sponsor and be stronger than I was. I got a lot to lose. I want to wake up and realize before I mess everything up again. I deserve better and I want to be better. Can someone who has struggled with this same addiction help me figure out how to just stop!!! My biggest issue is I get bored and lonely. However it’s time for me to grow and blossom. I know I have a purpose in this life. And we only get 1 life. I just know my time has ran out. I don’t get anymore chances after this. (God) is in control. I want to kick this habit! #ITRULYWANTTOBESOBER!!!
Very well said. Thank you for the word’s of wisdom. I appreciate everything that you said. Are you in recovery?
Congratulations!!! This is the 1st time I have ever worked the steps. I’m sincerely going to put forth the effort to work the steps. Thank you again.
I struggled with Meth and booze for quite some time and now have been clean from meth for 1733 days so far and 3 years 9 months from booze. I mean its not a walk in the park but if you wany sobriety bad enough you’ll make it happen. I didnt do the steps, but i am slowly gaining the courage to begin them. Every day though, i thank the Creator (my higher power) for another day, to be the person I am today, for being a mother to my 3 children and to be the sister, aunt and friend i am to many!!
Baby step your days, by this i mean to make small achievable goals such as journaling for 10 min, cook a meal, watch tv, go for a 20 min walk, make a phone call, etc. I hope today is a better day for you, heres to the next 24!!