Hey ppl, anyone got anything to suggest to help, I am unable to focus on any task or able to function properly at all. I relapsed again and I cannot stop thinking of the dopamine blast to my brain when I injected a large dose of meth with a needle. It was so intoxicating. I’m lined up for rehab and the closer the admission day gets the more I cannot stop realising I won’t get to ever experience that express and bliss that manifesting after shooting up. It’s fucked, I dont know what anyone can say to help but please anyone got advice etc. To give me a better ability to keep on moving and not act on my overwhelming urge to feel that again. It’s not an option. 
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Hey Tim, all I can say is that in recovery we learn to appreciate life and ourselves again without the alteration of artificial highs via substances. You will experience joy, love, peace, yourself with all your emotions, thoughts and abilities again. It will be realer and more truthful than the artificial highness of meth. It will have sth to do with you, your life. It’ll make sense. Not the chemical injection of “feeling” into a random situation, but you will experience feelings as fitting in and according to the context of your life and your self.
The senseless blast of dopamine will be replaced by sth organic and coherent, not arbitrary and empty.
Your choice.
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Thanks mate, your right. It will just take time for my quality of life etc. Will be a slow process of requesting during post acute withdrawal syndrome.
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You’re afraid of immediate future, with withdrawal, cravings, anxiety etc will feel like? That’s understandable. It won’t be comfortable. But it won’t last forever. And you’ll earn something good and valuable at the same time in recovery every day, every hour.
Quality of life… What is your quality of life like atm? In active addiction? This is not a rethorical question. It is often recommended to write out how your life is atm. So that you can look back in the future, read back if you have cravings, see how far you’ve come, measure you’re growth and value your change. Write down what it is you want to leave behind. So that you may not romanticise this life later on.
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This is one reason right here. You’re turning a craving into an obsession. You can talk about cravings without writing it out. Next time just say craving. By not spelling out the process you take power away from the craving.
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Cravings are only temporary… Find something to do for 5 minutes it will subside. Go call someone,draw,read a book, listen to music, cook or make some food just distract urself for a few minutes it will pass. Idealizing it a d flirting with temptation is what causes impulsive decisions…
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Try a NA meeting might help, do anything to keep busy, dont associate with anyone using throw out all your gear, avoid trap houses and shooting galleries, distant yourself from that lifestyle. Think about negative effects youve experienced from your use not about what good you think it does for you, thats temporary, eventually continuing the use will lead to your demise. Not much addicts i personally know make it to live very long without getting help. Hope the rehab is beneficial and you take all the info they give you and use it to help in your recovery. Wish you well.
God Bless
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Hey Tim, we all know what that’s like. Every one of us.
You’re obsessed.
Obsession is part of being addicted.
There is really no “bliss” in meth or any other drug. You know what is there? Loneliness.
Keep doing meth like this and you will never see your daughter again.
No matter how “good” a drug might “feel”, it’s not worth that. It’s not worth giving up on life and people. That’s a lonely, desperate road. That’s a pitiful place to be.
Go to rehab and join an NA group. Go every day. Go multiple times a day if you want. You’ll make real friends there. And don’t romanticize your drug. It is a machine and will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you for the next junkie. It’s garbage.
You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. You deserve to feel love and friendship, and you will. Sober.
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