entry #6
20 days sober ! 
super excited and proud of myself. i can honestly say i’ve noticed some changes in my behavior and my thought processes. i am thinking clearer and living more in the more moment. i feel more present. also when i get emotional, i know it’s because that’s how i really feel and not questioning if it’s the alcohol making me emotional. and being sober allows me to get more comfortable with being emotional and diving deeper into the reasons behind it which will help me get better control of my emotions and better understanding of my emotions in order to heal. instead of running from them to a bottle to take the pain away by distracting my thoughts and then after so many shots ironically it brings all those emotions back up anyway. in a more erratic way. i haven’t even told anyone of this sober journey im on. mostly because i don’t need their applause or support mostly because if im not successful i don’t want to hear their judgements. so to avoid the possibility of that i decided to keep this to myself and really it’s for myself and not anyone else. if they were paying attention and actually knew me they will notice and put two and two together. lol that or theyll start to think im pregnant. but after a few months they’ll be able to disregard that one. nonetheless this is for me , and im proud of me!
i hope you too are doing well