Okay so I been 6.5 months sober, living in a toxic abusive home. But also before I say everything I love my dad the most he’s the only family I have it’s just he toxic to me when I’m living at my step moms. I mentally can’t take it anymore. I had a mental breakdown while my dad was putting me down and insulting me and bringing up my past and implying I’m a whore and sleep around. And just something snapped idk I just opened the door and stepped out while he was driving. Obviously he didn’t stop and left me laying in the street. Then I just got up and walked over to the side. In my head I just couldn’t listen to it anymore I hear it every day multiple times a day I get things thrown at me. I’m tired of hearing what a disappointment I am. ALSO if I was a whore I would own up to it BUT I ONLY SLEPT WITH 3 people in my life and they were all my bfs. He doesn’t know that I have a alcohol problem I would never tell him. He says that if I move out I’ll be murdered and I’m just a little kid who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves. BUT I LITERALLY AM THE ONLY ONE THAT CLEANS AFTER THEMSELVES AND COONS AND STUFF BESIDE MY MOTHER AND I HAVE 5 brothers in the house 4 are teens and they can’t even make a grilled cheese. When I try and teach them or help them or tell them to make their own food MY MOM AND DAD GET MAD AT ME. THEN THE NEXT DAY THEY SAY I DONT DO ANYTHING I LITERALLY CLEAN MY HOUSE FOR HER. I literally was unable to walk after the car incident and the house became dirty again. I don’t want to be the only person doing anything I been doing all of this since I was a kid I literally raised my youngest brother and my parents deny it but HE CALLED ME MOM AND CALLED MY MOM AND DAD BY THEIR NAMES WHEN HE WAS ages 2-6 my father got really angry at him for doing that so he got scared and stopped. Anyways I’m really mentally sick and I’m trying to not relapse on any of my addictions (aka weed and alcohol). I’m planning on renting a apartment hopefully the first of July it’s only $900 and everything included and I make around $2356.56 a month so I’m happy with this. I’m really scared of telling my dad once I get the apartment I’ll tell him because I don’t want to cause stress for myself and not being able to get a place. Anyways thank you for listening I just needed to say this somewhere so I could sleep.
I’m sorry you have had to go through this. It sounds like you are taking control of this situation and I think you are amazing for getting your own place and removing yourself from the toxicity. That takes strength and I’m very proud of you! Six and a half months sober is amazing and the fact that you have remained sober during all of the negative battering is testament to your strength. I think it’s a good idea that you keep the apartment plan to yourself until you are ready to deal with your parents. Thank you for being here with us. And for reminding me that sobriety comes first above everything. God bless you 
You deserve a better life lady. And you’re working on it too. You’re doing great even if it doesn’t seems so. Take the best of care. You’ll get there. Hope you’re sleeping. Hugs.
Big hugs for you. I understand you wanting to get out of the car. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt. Yes you need to leave your home. On your own you will be able to have a relationship with them on your terms. Should you choose to. I’m so happy that you were able to get yourself an apartment and will be on your own. Yes to you getting away from that as fast as you can before somebody gets hurt physically.
Lots of mental damage already has been done.
You are strong and you can do this. Congratulations for you for staying sober. There’s a good life out there for you and you are doing what you can to have it for yourself.
Post here to get the support.
Edit. I see you did get hurt. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt worse.
I read back on your “toxic father” post from January. If you become afraid that he is going to hurt you, leave, and go to someplace safe. Do not be afraid to ask for help/safety from the police, an abused women’s shelter, or friends.
Keep yourself safe. Keep yourself sober. Stay strong while you change your life for a better future.
Your story is a very sad one @Nao, and to think that a father would drive away after his daughter was so upset she stepped out of a moving vehicle AND HE DROVE AWAY is not the action of a loving father.
You need to plan everything down to the last detail, make sure the apartment costs do include everything, also make sure the area is reasonable, the apartment security is good. You don’t want any last minute problems that leave you open to more insults and abuse.
The only good thing to come out of this is that you have been pushed into being an adult, and are quite capable. This is going to be invaluable in your new apartment and your new life.
If you think your family might cause trouble, tell them you’re staying with a friend for a few weeks, you can then update them when you’re comfortable and safe.
I wish you the best of luck with your new life, and keep everyone here updated, you will no doubt get lots of good advice and help from others that know about abusive relationships and how to successfully withdraw from them.
The best thing you can do is get out of that toxic house and cut all contact with your parents until you feel strong enough
That time might not come.
Some relationships are just too destructive.
You are a very brave strong person. Just think what you could do with all that strength and courage instead of being in this daily toxic battle that uses up all your strength. It must be exhausting.
Good luck.
Wow. So sorry your going though that. I like a lot of what I read though. You’re strong. You’ve identified the issues and you’ve made a plan to better yourself. That is HUGE! Be confident that you’re on the right track. I would get that apartment as soon as possible and don’t tell your Dad your address. Seriously, something sounds “off” with him in your story.
Stay strong.
Good luck with everything.
Time heals all and I hope you don’t get murdered. We are all susceptible to the ol’ murdered. Even him!
You got this.
Thank you so much for saying such nice things it really means a lot to me really does I had a really stressful/sad day today and I really needed to hear good words said to me. Thank you so much
My friends recently cut me off because they said that everything going on in my life was stressing them out so they said they couldn’t be friends with me. I love my dad I love my family they are the only thing I have. I don’t want my brothers taken away because he is a really good father he just doesn’t like me that much cause he think I’m stupid and also that I’m a girl. I’m planning on moving out soon and try and keep my family in my life. But my dads all I have left because he does love me I believe. My step mom and my brother treat me like I’m not even part of the family.
I will think good thoughts and say prayers for you that your life will become easier and less stressful. You will have friends and you should be able to have a relationship with your father and family. You’re 20 and you’ve quit drinking, you’re supporting yourself, you seem sweet, and self assured.
That’s lots! Be proud of yourself and grateful for the changes you are making for you.
Life will always have its challenges … not drinking, and working will make it easier to deal with them.
Your friends weren’t being very supportive.
I’m glad you came back and checked in.
Sometimes when friends see super dysfunctional families they don’t know how to deal with it. And they could’ve just been crummy friends. I’m sorry that happened it’s not what you needed right now.
We are here for you.