Since many have asked, I’ll provide an update.
I’m still alive, obviously . I was offered to stay with a friend, but that went sideways real fast, so I’m crashing a hotel room for a bit, I went back to the toxic environment to get my belongings out, was told what to do about correcting the situation there, I’m working on that now, not for a resentment or “get you back thing” more of i don’t want anyone else to go thru what I have, so more of a solution.
I also didn’t fight bicker and complain, I held my head high and wished them the best.
I been doing a lot of soul searching and digging down deep, and thinking about a lot of things, like what direction is my life going in? I been like a dart without feathers as of recent, just kinda winging it as it comes, I have not been successful, it works short times but in the long term it’s a like a firecracker, oooo ahhh then fizzles into ash.
My best approach right now is focus on making as much money as possible I am working on picking up a 2nd and 3rd job. Pay off debts, get myself settled with a better housing environment, I was with my therapist the other day and he said to me “dude your a master auto tech” you make mad money in a shop, use it as a catalyst to catapult you to where you want to be. So I’m exploring that option, and he’s right, I make upwards of 30/hr in a shop. I am not a fan of wrenching for a job, but I can use it to reach my career goals. A few of you know I been talking with someone and that took off, both similar goals life wants etc. well that took a back seat, but that’s ok. If she wants to be part of my life, there’s a seat available, if not my old girlfriend Ashley’s advice when I was in counseling with my now ex, “learn from my mistakes, don’t give up, you’ll wish you’ll haven’t later”
But I was really taken back, after I left therapy, I get an email from a dealer who scouted my resume, from the area I want to move, offered 3k signing and a relocation package. I talked to them and said I just need time. To get myself together, was told to save his number and get in contact when I’m ready. So I’m going to use a dealer here as a bargaining chip, if I set the precedent of a certain amount of money, and can show it, I have something to make them match.
That sounds super arrogant and greedy I know. But for too damn long I sold myself short, I took the easy path, I always stopped advocating for myself, and in the end it made me alone miserable and broke.
I also decided once I’m ready financially I’m done with roommates, I want my own damn pad again, this way if I want to eat Cheetos naked in a bean bag chair, who’s to say I can’t? If I want to swipe right on Tinder, I can, also if I lose it, it’s my own damn fault, no roommates or subleasing to say I have to leave.
A local band reached out to me, to do lead work with them, well the girls name is Angel, don’t know the rest Of the band yet, kinda prog rock stuff, not my gig but yano worth checking into.
As a newly founded Christian, I am going to my first CR meeting hopefully this Friday, the leader was really cool when I zoomed with him, and we discussed me maybe playing with their band, but yeah I gotta get there first.
Let me be the first to say I fucking hate NoVa, sorry Yoda-Stevie, but I might’ve well make the best of it while I’m stuck here to plan my next gig
Peace y’all