“We do the footwork and accept what’s being given to us freely on a daily basis.”
Basic Text, p. 47
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Our relationship with our Higher Power is a two-way street. In prayer, we speak and God listens. When we meditate, we do our best to listen for the will of our Higher Power. We know that we are responsible for our part of the relationship. If we do not pray and listen, we shut our Higher Power out of our lives.
When we think about our relationship with our Higher Power, it’s important to remember which one we are: the powerless one. We can ask for guidance; we can ask for willingness or strength; we can ask for knowledge of our Higher Power’s will—but we cannot make demands. The God of our understanding—the one with the power—will fulfill that half of the relationship by giving us exactly what we need, when we need it.
We need to take action every day to keep our relationship with a Higher Power alive. One way we do this is by applying the Eleventh Step. Then we remember our own powerlessness and accept the will of a Power greater than ourselves.
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Just for today:In my relationship with my Higher Power, I am the powerless one. Remembering who I am, today I will humbly accept the gifts of the God I understand.
“It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going.”
Basic Text, p. 23
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When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame or despair at calling ourselves “addicts.” In the early days, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to find new meaning in our lives. The past may seem inescapable and overpowering. It may be hard to think of ourselves in any way other than the way we always have.
While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what’s waiting for us if we use again, they can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear. Though it may be difficult to let go of those memories, each day in recovery can bring us that much farther away from our active addiction. Each day, we can find more to look forward to and less to punish ourselves for.
In recovery, all doors are open to us. We have many choices. Our new life is rich and full of promise. While we cannot forget the past, we don’t have to live in it. We can move on.
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Just for today:I will pack my bags and move out of my past into a present filled with hope.
“From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with a common bond… Our faith, strength, and hope come from people sharing their recovery…”
Basic Text, p. 98
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Admit no weakness, conceal all shortcomings, deny every failure, go it alone—that was the creed many of us followed. We denied that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable, despite all evidence to the contrary. Many of us would not surrender without the assurance there was something worth surrendering to. Many of us took our First Step only when we had evidence that addicts could recover in Narcotics Anonymous.
In NA, we find others who’ve been in the same predicament, with the same needs, who’ve found tools that work for them. These addicts are willing to share those tools with us and give us the emotional support we need as we learn to use them. Recovering addicts know how important the help of others can be because they’ve been given that help themselves. When we become a part of Narcotics Anonymous, we join a society of addicts like ourselves, a group of people who know that we help one another recover.
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Just for today:I will join in the bond of recovery. I will find the experience, strength, and hope I need in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.
“In seeking a sponsor, most members look for someone they feel they can learn to trust, someone who seems compassionate…”
IP No. 11, Sponsorship, Revised
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The idea of sponsorship may be new to us. We have spent many years without direction, relying only on self-interest, suspecting everyone, trusting no one. Now that we’re learning to live in recovery, we find we need help. We can’t do it alone anymore; we must take the risk of trusting another human being. Often, the first person we take that risk with is our sponsor—someone we respect, someone we identify with, someone we have reason to trust.
As we open up to our sponsor, a bond develops between us. We disclose our secrets and develop confidence in our sponsor’s discretion. We share our concerns and learn to value our sponsor’s experience. We share our pain and are met with empathy. We get to know one another, respect one another, love one another. The more we trust our sponsor, the more we learn to trust ourselves.
Trust helps us move away from a life of fear, confusion, suspicion, and indirection. In the beginning, it feels risky to trust another addict. But that trust is the same principle we apply in our relationship with a Higher Power—risky or not, our experience tells us we can’t do without it. And the more we take the risk of trusting our sponsor, the more open we will feel about our lives.
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Just for today:I want to grow and change. I will risk trusting my sponsor and find the rewards of sharing.
“We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic.”
Basic Text, p. 30
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While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren’t sure what normal emotions were anymore.
After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.
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Just for today:I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.
“…God’s will for us consists of the very things we most value. God’s will… becomes our own true will for ourselves.”
Basic Text, p. 48
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It’s human nature to want something for nothing. We may be ecstatic when a store cashier gives us back change for a twenty though we only paid with a ten. We tend to think that, if no one knows, one small deception won’t make any difference. But someone does know—we do. And it does make a difference.
What worked for us when we used frequently doesn’t work long in recovery. As we progress spiritually by working the Twelve Steps, we begin to develop new values and standards. We begin to feel uncomfortable when we take advantage of situations that, when we used, would have left us gloating about what we had gotten away with.
In the past, we may have victimized others. However, as we draw closer to our Higher Power, our values change. God’s will becomes more important than getting away with something.
When our values change, our lives change, too. Guided by an inner knowledge given us by our Higher Power, we want to live out our newfound values. We have internalized our Higher Power’s will for us—in fact, God’s will has become our own true will for ourselves.
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Just for today:By improving my conscious contact with God, my values have changed. Today, I will practice God’s will, my own true will.
“Gradually, as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope.”
Basic Text, p. 95
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What a glorious thing to have hope! Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us lived lives of utter hopelessness. We believed we were destined to die from our disease.
Many members speak of being on a “pink cloud” their first months in the program. We’ve stopped using, made some friends, and life looks promising. Things are going great. Then reality sets in. Life is still life—we still lose jobs, our partners still leave us, friends still die, we still get sick. Abstinence is no guarantee that life will always go our way.
When the reality of life on its own terms sets in, we turn to our Higher Power and remember that life happens the way life happens. But no matter what occurs in our recovery we need not despair, for there is always hope. That hope lies in our relationship with our Higher Power.
This relationship, as expressed by the thought in our text, develops over time: “Gradually, we become more God-centered.” As we rely more and more on the strength of our Higher Power, life’s struggles don’t have to drag us into the sea of despair. As we focus more on God, we focus less on ourselves.
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Just for today:I will rely on my Higher Power. I will accept that, regardless of what happens, my Higher Power will provide me with the resources to live with it.
“Our real value is in being ourselves.”
Basic Text, p. 105
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As we work the steps, we’re bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching our characters reveals our true nature. As we become acquainted with ourselves, we’ll need to make a decision to be just who we are.
We may want to take a look at what we present to our fellow addicts and the world and see if it matches up with what we’ve discovered inside. Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we’re very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with obnoxious jokes, or do we share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we’re approaching forty and are basically conservative?
We may want to take another look at those things which we thought “weren’t us.” Maybe we’ve avoided NA activities because we “don’t like crowds.” Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream “wasn’t really right” for us. As we attain a new understanding of ourselves, we’ll want to adjust our behavior accordingly. We want to be genuine examples of who we are.
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Just for today:I will check my outsides to make sure they match my insides. I will try to act on the growth I have experienced in recovery.
“Our public image consists of what we have to offer: a successful, proven way of maintaining a drug-free lifestyle.”
Basic Text, p. 75
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Yes, we are attracting new members. More and more addicts are finding Narcotics Anonymous. But how do we treat our newest members when they arrive, worn out from their struggles with addiction? Do we reach out to newcomers who are standing by themselves at our meetings, confused and uncertain? Are we willing to give them rides to meetings? Do we still work one-on-one with the addict who suffers? Do we give out our phone numbers? Are we eager to go on a Twelfth Step call, even if it means getting up from our comfortable beds in the middle of the night? Will we work with someone who has a different sexual orientation or is from another culture? Are we generous with the gift of our time?
No doubt we were met with love and acceptance by our fellow addicts. What attracted many of us to Narcotics Anonymous was the feeling that we had finally found a place where we belonged. Are we offering that same sense of belonging to our newer members? We cannot promote Narcotics Anonymous. But when we put principles into action in our lives, we attract newer members to the NA way, just as we were attracted to recovery.
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Just for today: I will work with a newcomer. I will remember that I was once a newcomer myself. I will seek to attract others with the same sense of belonging I’ve found in NA.
“The idea of a spiritual awakening takes many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the fellowship.”
Basic Text, p. 49
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Though we all work the same steps, each of us experiences the spiritual awakening resulting from them in our own way. The shape that spiritual awakening takes in our lives will vary, depending on who we are.
For some of us, the spiritual awakening promised in the Twelfth Step will result in a renewed interest in religion or mysticism. Others will awaken to an understanding of the lives of those around them, experiencing empathy perhaps for the first time. Still others will realize that the steps have awakened them to their own moral or ethical principles. Most of us experience our spiritual awakening as a combination of these things, each combination as unique as the individual who’s been awakened.
If there are so many different varieties of spiritual awakenings, how do we know if we’ve truly had one? The Twelfth Step provides us with two signs: We’ve found principles capable of guiding us well, the kind of principles we want to practice in all our affairs. And we’ve begun to care enough about other addicts to freely share with them the experience we’ve had. No matter what the details of our awakenings are like, we all are given the guidance and the love we need to live fulfilling, spiritually oriented lives.
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Just for today:Regardless of its particular shape, my spiritual awakening has helped me fill my place in the world with love and life. For that, I am grateful.
“Remember that we… are ultimately responsible for our recovery and our decisions.”
Basic Text, p. 103
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Most of us will face choices that challenge our recovery. If we find ourselves in extreme physical pain, for example, we will have to decide whether or not we will take medication. We will have to be very honest with ourselves about the severity of our pain, honest with our doctor about our addiction and our recovery, and honest with our sponsor. In the end, however, the decision is ours, for we are the ones who must live with the consequences.
Another common challenge is the choice of attending a party where alcohol will be served. Again, we should consider our own spiritual state. If someone who supports our recovery can attend the event with us, so much the better. However, if we don’t feel up to such a challenge, we should probably decline the invitation. Today, we know that preserving our recovery is more important than saving face.
All such decisions are tough ones, requiring not only our careful consideration but the guidance of our sponsor and complete surrender to a Higher Power. Using all of these resources, we make the best decision we can. Ultimately, however, the decision is ours. Today, we are responsible for our own recovery.
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Just for today:When faced with a decision that may challenge my recovery, I will consult all the resources at my disposal before I make my choice.
“Someone finally knew the crazy thoughts that I had and the crazy things I’d done.”
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Addicts often feel terminally unique. We’re sure that no one used drugs like we did or had to do the things that we did to get them. Feeling that no one really understands us can keep us from recovery for many years.
But once we come to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, we begin to lose that feeling of being “the worst” or “the craziest.” We listen as members share their experiences. We discover that others have walked the same twisted path that we’ve walked and still have been able to find recovery. We begin to believe that recovery is available to us, too.
As we progress in our own recovery, sometimes our thinking is still insane. However, we find that when we share the hard time we may be having, others identify, sharing how they have dealt with such difficulties. No matter how troubled our thinking seems, we find hope when others relate to us, passing along the solutions they’ve found. We begin to believe that we can survive whatever we’re going through to continue on in our recovery.
The gift of Narcotics Anonymous is that we learn we are not alone. We can get clean and stay clean by sharing our experience, our strength, and even our crazy thinking with other members. When we do, we open ourselves to the solutions others have found to the challenges we face.
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Just for today: I am grateful that I can identify with others. Today, I will listen as they share their experience, and I’ll share mine with them.
“On a practical level, changes occur because what’s appropriate to one phase of recovery may not be for another.” Basic Text, p. 105
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When we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us had no legitimate occupation. Not all of us suddenly decide we’re going to become honest and productive model citizens the moment we arrive in NA. But we soon find, in recovery, that we are not so comfortable doing many of the things we once did without a second thought when we were using.
As we grow in our recovery, we begin to be honest in matters that probably hadn’t bothered us when we used. We start returning extra change a cashier may have given us by mistake, or admitting when we hit a parked car. We find that if we can begin to be honest in these small ways, the bigger tests of our honesty become much easier to handle.
Many of us came here with very little capacity to be honest. But we find that as we work the Twelve Steps, our lives begin to change. We are no longer comfortable when we benefit at the expense of others. And we can feel good about our newfound honesty.
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Just for today:I will examine the level of honesty in my life and see if I’m comfortable with it.
“This firsthand experience in all phases of illness and recovery is of unparalleled therapeutic value. We are here to share it freely with any addict who wants to recover.” Basic Text, p. 10
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Most of us came into the program with some serious regrets. We had never finished high school, or we had missed going to college. We had destroyed friendships and marriages. We had lost jobs. And we knew that we couldn’t change any of it. We may have thought that we’d always be regretful and simply have to find a way to live with our regrets.
On the contrary, we find that our past represents an untapped gold mine the first time we are called on to share it with a struggling newcomer. As we listen to someone share their Fifth Step with us, we can give a special form of comfort that no one else could provide—our own experience. We’ve done the same things. We’ve had the same feelings of shame and remorse. We’ve suffered in the ways only an addict can suffer. We can relate—and so can they.
Our past is valuable—in fact, priceless—because we can use all of it to help the addict who still suffers. Our Higher Power can work through us when we share our past. That possibility is why we are here, and its fulfillment is the most important goal we have to accomplish.
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Just for today:I no longer regret my past because, with it, I can share with other addicts, perhaps averting the pain or even death of another.
“We must use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how long we have been clean.”
Basic Text, p. 85
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After putting some clean time together, some of us have a tendency to forget what our most important priority is. Once a week or less we say, “I’ve gotta get to a meeting tonight. It’s been…” We’ve been caught up in other things, important for sure, but no more so than our continued participation in Narcotics Anonymous.
It happens gradually. We get jobs. We reunite with our families. We’re raising children, the dog is sick, or we’re going to school at night. The house needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs to be mowed. We have to work late. We’re tired. There’s a good show at the theater tonight. And all of a sudden, we notice that we haven’t called our sponsor, been to a meeting, spoken to a newcomer, or even talked to God in quite a while.
What do we do at this point? Well, we either renew our commitment to our recovery, or we continue being too busy to recover until something happens and our lives become unmanageable. Quite a choice! Our best bet is to put more of our energy into maintaining the foundation of recovery on which our lives are built. That foundation makes everything else possible, and it will surely crumble if we get too busy with everything else.
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Just for today: I can’t afford to be too busy to recover. I will do something today that sustains my recovery.
“A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind… Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives.” Basic Text, p. 96
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We arrived in NA at the lowest point in our lives. We’d just about run out of ideas. What we needed most when we got here were new ideas, new ways of living, shared from the experience of people who’d seen those ideas work. Yet our closed minds prevented us from taking in the very ideas we needed to live.
Denial keeps us from appreciating just how badly we really need new ideas and new direction. By admitting our powerlessness and recognizing how truly unmanageable our lives have become, we allow ourselves to see how much we need what NA has to offer.
Self-dependence and self-will can keep us from admitting even the possibility of the existence a Power greater than ourselves. However, when we admit the sorry state self-will has gotten us into, we open our eyes and our minds to new possibilities. When others tell us of a Power that has brought sanity to their lives, we begin to believe that such a Power may do the same for us.
A tree stripped of its branches will die unless new branches can be grafted onto its trunk. In the same way, addiction stripped us of whatever direction we had. To grow or even to survive, we must open our minds and allow new ideas to be grafted onto our lives.
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Just for today:I will ask my Higher Power to open my mind to the new ideas of recovery.
“All spiritual awakenings have some things in common. Common elements include an end to loneliness and a sense of direction in our lives.” Basic Text, p. 50
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Some kinds of spiritual experiences take place when we confront something larger than we are. We suspect that forces beyond our understanding are operating. We see a fleeting glimpse of the big picture and find humility in that moment.
Our journey through the Twelve Steps will bring about a spiritual experience of the same nature, only more profound and lasting. We undergo a continual process of ego-deflation, while at the same time we become more conscious of the larger perspective. Our view of the world expands to the point where we no longer possess an exaggerated sense of our own importance.
Through our new awareness, we no longer feel isolated from the rest of the human race. We may not understand why the world is the way it is or why people sometimes treat one another so savagely. But we do understand suffering and, in recovery, we can do our best to alleviate it. When our individual contribution is combined with others, we become an essential part of a grand design. We are connected at last.
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Just for today:I am but one person in the entire scheme of things. I humbly accept my place in the big picture.
“…approval-seeking behavior carried us further into our addiction…” Basic Text, p. 14
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When others approve of what we do or say, we feel good; when they disapprove, we feel bad. Their opinions of us, and how those opinions make us feel, can have positive value. By making us feel good about steering a straight course, they encourage us to continue doing so. “People-pleasing” is something else entirely. We “people-please” when we do things, right or wrong, solely to gain another person’s approval.
Low self-esteem can make us think we need someone else’s approval to feel okay about ourselves. We do whatever we think it will take to make them tell us we’re okay. We feel good for awhile. Then we start hurting. In trying to please another person, we’ve diminished ourselves and our values. We realize that the approval of others will not fill the emptiness inside us.
The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons. We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others’ approval and start acting on our Higher Power’s will for us. When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior. Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.
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Just for today:Higher Power, help me live in accordance with spiritual principles. Only then can I approve of myself.
“Do we really want to be rid of our resentments, our anger, our fear?” Basic Text, p. 34
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Why do we call them “shortcomings”? Perhaps they should be called “long-goings,” because that’s often what it takes for them to fade from our lives. Some of us feel that our shortcomings are the very characteristics that saved our lives when we used. If this is true, then it is little wonder that we sometimes cling to them like old, dear friends.
If we are having trouble with resentment, anger, or fear, we may want to envision what our lives could be like without these troubling defects. Asking ourselves why we react in a certain manner can sometimes root out the fear at the core of our conduct. “Why am I afraid to step beyond these aspects of my personality?” we ask ourselves. “Am I afraid of who I will be without these attributes?”
Once we have uncovered our fear, we are able to move beyond it. We try to imagine what our lives could be like without some of our more glaring shortcomings. This gives us a feeling for what lies past our fear, providing the motivation we need to push through it. Our Higher Power offers us a new vision for our lives, free of our defects. That vision is the essence of our own best, brightest dreams for ourselves. We need not fear that vision.
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Just for today:I will imagine what my life would be like without my character defects. I will ask for the willingness to have God remove my shortcomings.
“We have come to enjoy living clean and want more of the good things that the NA Fellowship holds for us.” Basic Text, p. 27
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Can you remember a time when you looked at the addicts recovering in NA and wondered, “If they aren’t using drugs, what on earth do they have to laugh about?” Did you believe that the fun stopped when the using stopped? So many of us did; we were certain that we were leaving the “good life” behind. Today, many of us can laugh at that misconception because we know how full our life in recovery can be.
Many of the things we enjoy so much in recovery are gained by actively participating in the Fellowship of NA. We begin to find true companionship, friends who understand and care about us just for ourselves. We find a place where we can be useful to others. There are recovery meetings, service activities, and fellowship gatherings to fill our time and occupy our interests. The fellowship can be a mirror to reflect back to us a more accurate image of who we are. We find teachers, helpers, friends, love, care, and support. The fellowship always has more to offer us, as long as we keep coming back.
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Just for today:I know where the “good life” is. I’ll keep coming back.
