I just got out of my relapse. I have a calendar, where i put x for drinking and - for not drinking.
So I at least can see what the hll i’m doing, but i forgot to set x and minus for a week this time. This relapse was one of the longest i’ve had (i think). I didn’t care about anything. In the end i didnt even bother going out, i just ordered the wine and beer directly to the door, and finally i didnt do anything else but laying in bed, drinking, sleeping, watching tv with my cat, turned off the phone. Didn’t eat, i really didnt care about anything!! ANYWAY. I’m on day 4 now (withot alcohol). Another reboot sigh. Dont know why i’m writing this. Maybe because i really dont know where else to write about this.
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I have not much time to respond, because I’m at work. But my tip would be to quit this calendar of yours. It keeps the door open for drinking.
Congratulations with day 4! 
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Welcome to the forum and congrats on 4 days!
Have a good read around and make a plan how to stay sober (good stuff at the thread with ssme name).
Get help, a programm, therapy, put daily work in your recovery as you put it into drinking, stay accountable, learn about addiction and recovery.
Keep us posted here how you are doing, share, never crave alone.
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Thanks for posting 
Keep coming back here and check in daily 
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