I don’t know if I am actually addicted to alk. or not. And this I say because on the rare days that I feel a little better, I am not even interested. As you my friends might have read, I have a genetic condition that causes me so much pain that even my pain meds cannot cut it if I am active…so I rarely am active even though my breathing is pretty difficult and I should make my lungs stronger. And all of this leaves me feeling icky and weak and totally spent most of the time. And I feel old before my time. I know people old enough to be my parents who, thankfully, are much stronger, have more energy etc. than I do. And on top of that, emotional pain which in a way is even worse. But once in a while, even though the pain is always there, I feel a little stronger. It is pretty rare. But on such days, i dont even think about alk. Today, as usual, I feel like a rag doll who lost her stuffing. And yes I am thinking about it. But no…I have almost completed an entire month of sobriety. I do.not.want. to mess up. No matter how tempting. No way, Jose! So here I am typing because for some reason, it helps…
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Whatever helps. Im here for it 
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Stay strong…. Hope today is a strong day. 
Here’s a reason. Everyone simplifies the “pleasure” or what alcohol adds to their lives. It’s one big marketing lie that has won. Though, recent polls say 38% of US adults don’t drink at all. I am happy you are here and happy you are looking for help.
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