Hey Remi. Recovering sex addict here that struggled with those same issues. If you need help considering 12-step programs, let me know. Best of luck on your journey.
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Welcome… I am a female so no I dont personally have the exact issue. But i have struggle with it in some form. Just want you to know you arent alone. My ex husband struggled for years. That struggle is real and I watch him battle it refusing to reach out for help. So I’m glad to see men here seeking help on the issue and I wish you all the best.
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I really love this forum. I try to keep up so that maybe I will be enlightened on how to handle the situation in the future.
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Do you mean the situation of a man in your family who is struggling with porn? Sorry I don’t mean to be nosy, I’m curious what you mean 
Well my ex husband mostly. We are still friends ans he still confides in me. I also know plenty of other women with men who are struggling and I hate when the women shame or embarrass or whatever their men. I want to have good advice to give them.
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Welcome,
There are plenty who struggle and share their story here with PMO, I befriended a few, some real good people. My thing about it was wanting to understand it more,
While porn or masturbation was never my thing, when I was younger I always found a new flavor of the week, mostly because society told me how being desired by multiple females, is somehow a status quo, I would consume it, to the point where I didn’t have a female friend I haven’t had sex with,
In my eyes porn is very destructive, it gives a false representation of expectations, and when you find out all about the behind the scenes stuff, how the actors are treated, the numbing agents etc. it makes it less interesting
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Mmm yes I understand. When porn becomes more appealing than partnered sexual connection, it’s a problem. And it’s so intimate, so vulnerable, for the person who is cut out 
It hurts.
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There is more here; I’m going to bed but I’ll check in tomorrow. I have more I can share and I’d be interested to hear your interests and thoughts as well.
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Yes it does… I felt like something was wrong with me. And when he was hidimg it from me in the beginning he made up all sorts of things that were wrong with me as the reason he didn’t wanna be intimate with me. It crushed me. I gained alot of weight got super depressed. Amd eventually starting drinking which is my DOC and reason for being here on this app
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Exactly my point regarding porn,
It gives a false representation, and can make your partner feel insecure, it can destroy your relationship
One of my most positive traits I been told is how I build confidence and self esteem in my partner, I can see PMO destroying that
I’m sorry your feeling that way, it’s hard to overcome when you feel like your unloved and unwanted
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So after my divorce I moved on and the porn addiction was more devastating than when the next guy had multiple affairs on me.
Either way both have done damage,
I’m sorry you went through that. But now is the chance to rise and over come the shackles of the past and breach the new horizon
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That’s heartbreaking Kayla - I’m sorry you experienced that. As you commented above, it’s time for you to rise like the phoenix from the ashes - and you’ll walk your sober path stronger, wiser, and more self-aware and independent.
Patrick Carnes (a counsellor who has researched and written extensively about sex and porn addiction) describes porn and sex addiction as problems that arise from our culture not really training us in courtship.
We don’t know how to walk the path of intimacy because for generations, we’ve neglected to really practice the path of intimacy in a healthy, conscious way.
In my experience I agree with him. As I’ve worked my recovery I’ve also asked my wife to attend couples counselling with me, and a partner support group at my sex addiction recovery clinic. We also have incorporated new routines into our days, like sharing what we’re grateful for at dinner, and doing some “Our Moments” couples conversation cards - look them up they’re fun! - to help have some real heart to heart conversations. None of these activities is physically sexual, but they are central to our intimacy.
Carnes suggests 12 stages of courtship as a guide for intimacy in a relationship. The stages can be repeated or circle back on themselves (it’s not like once you get to one you can’t repeat an earlier one; it cycles over time):
For me this has been important in my recovery. I’ve learned that my love and respect for myself - my own desire for growth and self-love, self-respect - has been underdeveloped, and as a result my intimacy (emotional and physical) was stunted. Working to better understand and grow in healthy ways, to want and act and love and connect in healthy ways, has transformed how I live my life.
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Porn and masturbation are my DOCs also, but I am noticing that alcohol has a pretty tight grip on me as well. I’m new to the forum
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Welcome, Remi!
PMO - Porn, Masturbation, Recovery
This is currently the most active thread on pornography and sex addiction. Feel free to keep browsing around and chime in when you have questions. You are not alone, and you can overcome.
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Hi guys, I’m David. I had a porn addiction since 7 years old. To be honest I really hate porn, and I’m finally deciding to quit once and for all. I will be implementing tools in order to succeed in this journey, and eventually I want to get married and be with a beautiful woman of my dreams, and never look at porn again. I want to be free for good. I am committing to sobriety. I just made my first 5 minutes of sobriety.
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Hey David,
How are things going?
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