It’s a process. As addicts and people in recovery, something in our history conditioned us to think of ourselves as unworthy; when we found our substance or behaviour of addiction, that stepped in and numbed our unmet need.
And voila! Addiction.
A good acronym for a self-check is “HALT”:
It sounds to me like you’re looking for some validation or attention to your experience. You want someone to help you sense and give shape to the emotional weight - to empathize. That’s normal and healthy.
It’s counterintuitive, but actually - we can provide a lot of kind emotional attention to ourselves, and our experience. It’s a valuable skill to learn, to be able to label and experience emotion fully and independently. (The world is unpredictable and if we want our life to be full and healthy, we need to be self sufficient in this way.)
Try sitting with yourself for a moment and allow your feelings to happen, to pass through you, past you, like ships on a river (you’re sitting on the bank). See them, hear them; but also, recognize you don’t have to get on. Label them though - they are a part of your life, in, out, past - they are there & will be back in future.
I use this meditation often to calm myself at times when I get worked up and resentful:
Then - if you still feel you want some social attention (which is a healthy and legitimate human need), let your current companions be where they are (it’s their life to live), and go out to find new ones! Join a hiking group, a dancing ensemble, a tabletop gaming group, a cooking class, a book club. Something with people who want to spend time with each other. You’ll make connections, and you’ll feel better.
If you find yourself preoccupied with receiving attention from the people you mentioned above, specifically, then you need to ask yourself why you’re so fixated on them. One of the parts of healing and recovery is letting go. That doesn’t mean cutting all ties, of course; it means being stable enough to let others navigate and make their own decisions, and not to become fixated on them. (It’s tricky but this is important for healthy living. People come and go. It’s natural. Even in families! Lordy I could share some stories.) You need to cultivate some healthy detachment, so the times you do have with people, are healthy and mutually beneficial.