Just need to get this off my chest

Emotional Support
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The past couple weeks have been super hard. I feel like the people around me only want me when it’s convenient to them. I’ve tried expressing it to them but they just brush it off. I know they love me but i don’t think they care how I feel anymore. My siblings only talk to me when they want to play on my tablet or need to get away from others then they just sit on their phone. I recently expressed to my feeling to my mom about how it feel like she only wants me around to babysit, nothings changed. She just brushed it off . I’ve been trying to spend time with my bestfriend but their on their phone a lot and whenever I tell them let’s just hang out they get all weird. The only time they are really off their phone is when they want to talk and chill or whatever. I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t want to be around me.

It just feels like im only convenient when it suits their agendas. And i don’t know what to do about it.

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Phones have really fucked up our generation. Everywhere you see there’s people looking at their bloody screens. Not a lot of people see how fucked up our generation is. I spend a lot of breaks on my own, because no one is present with their minds. I’ve lost a lot of friends because I stopped gaming. It’s weird, I got a lot of friends because of my addiction and only started losing them once I got into recovery.

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@jjcarson92 thank you for the advice I really appreciate it.
@anon89207786 I completely agree. Social media and any electronics have messed up our generation.

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Have you watched “the social dilemma”? It’s a really good documentary about social media

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Have you been showing love to yourself?

It sounds like you’re feeling unloved. One of our biggest deficiencies as people in recovery is responding to our healthy needs.

We can (and must) love ourselves, to create self-sufficiency. (I recently had a tough patch, exactly the same feelings you’re describing here.)

What do you do to take care of yourself, to show loving kindness to yourself?

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We have our own zoom meetings on Tuesdays , Thursdays and Saturdays. If you want, you can join them

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I’m sorry what?
Get out there and get a life on your own. Find people who would rather spend their days enjoying life than sat with stupid social media.
I’m sorry if that’s harsh, but there’s a great big world out there. The people around you don’t appreciate it or you

And as Matt says. Find and love yourself.

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No I haven’t yet i will definitely give it a watch thank you :slight_smile:

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I guess just normal stuff like hygiene stuff. I dont really know how i guess. But you are right definitely need to work on self love.

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Thank you I really appreciate it.

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Do you mean all social media or most of it, because this is a social media…But I completely agree. Social media is nothing but people showing only the good things of their life and even fake those good things because the majority of social media being made as addictive as possible.

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Thank you. The brutal truth is definitely better when it being sugar coated.

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Same here, besides the hygiene part, still not great, but working on that. For the mental love part, I write down every evening 10 thinfgs that I did well today in 10 things you did well today

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Yeah, came to the conclusion a couple of years ago, this is online support.
The rest is crap!:joy:

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It’s a process. As addicts and people in recovery, something in our history conditioned us to think of ourselves as unworthy; when we found our substance or behaviour of addiction, that stepped in and numbed our unmet need.

And voila! Addiction.

A good acronym for a self-check is “HALT”:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

It sounds to me like you’re looking for some validation or attention to your experience. You want someone to help you sense and give shape to the emotional weight - to empathize. That’s normal and healthy.

It’s counterintuitive, but actually - we can provide a lot of kind emotional attention to ourselves, and our experience. It’s a valuable skill to learn, to be able to label and experience emotion fully and independently. (The world is unpredictable and if we want our life to be full and healthy, we need to be self sufficient in this way.)

Try sitting with yourself for a moment and allow your feelings to happen, to pass through you, past you, like ships on a river (you’re sitting on the bank). See them, hear them; but also, recognize you don’t have to get on. Label them though - they are a part of your life, in, out, past - they are there & will be back in future.

I use this meditation often to calm myself at times when I get worked up and resentful:
https://insighttimer.com/MelliOBrien/guided-meditations/self-compassion-meditation-2

Then - if you still feel you want some social attention (which is a healthy and legitimate human need), let your current companions be where they are (it’s their life to live), and go out to find new ones! Join a hiking group, a dancing ensemble, a tabletop gaming group, a cooking class, a book club. Something with people who want to spend time with each other. You’ll make connections, and you’ll feel better.

If you find yourself preoccupied with receiving attention from the people you mentioned above, specifically, then you need to ask yourself why you’re so fixated on them. One of the parts of healing and recovery is letting go. That doesn’t mean cutting all ties, of course; it means being stable enough to let others navigate and make their own decisions, and not to become fixated on them. (It’s tricky but this is important for healthy living. People come and go. It’s natural. Even in families! Lordy I could share some stories.) You need to cultivate some healthy detachment, so the times you do have with people, are healthy and mutually beneficial.

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Thank you Matt. I really appreciated that speach. Its definitely something I’m going to work on. :slight_smile:

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You da man Matt!
:facepunch::muscle:

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