I get that.
That’s the chapter I started with. @JasonFisher turned me on to it in case I ever feel like I can drink like a gentleman. I can’t.
I listened to it a couple of times in a row on my walk. Then did the whole book audio on my walks.
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That was extremely eye-opening. Completely resonated and I feel a little defeated. I was thinking I was an alchohic, and never thought that my alchoholic mind had made its own “unhealthy” definition of being sober. Which was to get to a point where I was able to manage my alchohol after I spitually healed myself. I guess im not the first one to come up with this ingenious idea. Also feeling a little nervous as well. Not really sure why the nervous feeling after comprehending the idea that I have an alchoholic mind. Maybe doubting that Im not mentally strong to be sober my whole life, or even if I want to be. Thank you for that video, new material to add to my army against alchohol!
Thank you!!!
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You are. Stick with it.
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This I like best. You’re ready to get out of your comfort zone and try new things you kinda didn’t wanna do. With this attitude you’ll have a very good chance at staying sober. We are all snowflakes and that’s a good thing, but we also have these major things in common. Approaching sobriety with an inflated ego thinking we’ll do it all our own way cos we so special, that’s not a good way to be when it comes to addiction imho.
Take it ODAAT my friend. You don’t have to have it all figured out today.
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The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 30
I cannot do both things simultaneously - control my drinking and enjoy it. And I’m pretty bad at the control part anyway. When I controlled my drinking, I was miserable. When I enjoyed my drinking, it was out of control, and honestly, when it did get it out of control, I only enjoyed it for about 15 minutes. That “golden hour”, the " perfect buzz", quickly eroded and I was chasing the high with more and more booze. It still makes me profoundly sad to recognize this in myself.
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Perfectly said. And i so agree.
I too am constantly arguing with myself whether to have just one or none. I know just one is not going to happen though. I need to stop all together for good. I need help.
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This reminds me of the fact that my decisions are not made by my conscious self, but my subconscious. The conscious part of me knows that my DOC is bad. It offers me nothing. And I know that it makes no sense for me to justify having one when zero is so much a better option. I know that consciously.
But my subconscious, I have to brokenly admit that it has a mind of its own. And trying to train it to not desire something bad for me has ended up to be a futile process.
The bottom line is, I don’t have any fleshly weapon or any worldly wisdom that’s going to guarantee this subconscious messed up part of me to not be so messed up.
My only choice is to completely surrender all of my thoughts, all of my will, all of my life, every second over to God. Because I cannot trust in myself. Myself has proven over the decades that I cannot be trusted. But God is bigger than all this. But in order to receive God’s power, I have to stop following my will, and surrender to His will for my life.
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Bridge to nowhere?
I just ran into this issue going to a Mexican restaurant with my best friend. We never get out with each other much because we are so busy so a drink sounded really nice to enjoy together. And the thing is, if I’m at a restaurant I could just have one alcoholic drink since I’m eating and I’m with someone else. Am I the one always wanting to get a drink even when she doesn’t or even pushing to take a shot and totally would have if I wasn’t sober? Hell yes. And she had casually mentioned drinking (but is also trying to be supportive) so I was super tempted. But the thing is, would one drink worth be worth it to me? No. And it damn sure wouldn’t be worth starting over my sobriety again. And more so…sure at a restaurant I could have one drink with food, but at home I know I can never just have one shot. So would that one drink out turn in to me drinking at home again? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out.
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How many times in recent history have you been able to have just one?
Have you accepted that you are alcoholic?
Hint…normal people don’t argue with themselves over booze.
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I know im an alcoholic and i have a problem, an addiction for i always have conversations with myself about drinking. That is not normal. I also can feel the drug entering my very being when i take a sip. It feels like as if i was taking a hit of some kind narcotic. So all these things tell me i have a problem and if i want to have a good life i cant have alcohol in it.
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Or, a bridge to your best life, get on it!
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Still Going strong at 16 months. Quality Mental Strength is great.
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Wow! Way to go on 16 months! Glad to see that ur still going strong in recovery!
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