39 Male here, been addicted to Alcohol for 20 years. Known I’ve needed to cut back/quit for years(although the cutting back never works, does it?) Just had my first child with my lovely supportive wife and she is only 3 weeks old and I know I need to get sober to be there for both of them. I lie to myself and tell myself I’m a highly functional alcoholic and it’s not that big a deal but I know I can never truly be 100% there for them if alcohol is involved.
I had a fairly successful December and only drank 15 out of the 31 days. Jan isn’t going as well. Was sober for 4 days and drank the past 9. I seem to hit a 3 or 4 day wall of sobriety each time.
Re commiting this morning and just paid for the premium Sobertime app(those fucking ads got me to shut down the app every time) and just made a talking sober account too so this is my first post. Hoping to get some motivation and words of encouragement. Thank you!
Honestly, I feel like the best form of encouragement, is advice. In the beginning, I relied on going to meetings for both. I found people living sober lives, and living well. Seeing that it was possible to live a great life sober was the ultimate encouragement. In order to live that life I decided to follow their advice they gave via their story.
For me sobriety had to be my primary focus. I had to work on it every single day (hell, I still do to some extent). That means stepping out of my comfort zone. I went to rehab, Outpatient treatment, attended meetings daily, went to therapy, used medication, and lived in sober living. All of those things played a vital role in my sobriety.
Welcome to our community. I hope you find what you are looking for here.
I was just thinking about the term functioning alcoholic. I only looked deeper in the definitions when I became sober. Before I was just drunk every night. I wasn’t functioning. I went to work. Did my job, met people, did lots of sport and was dieing inside. It was a struggle, it was awful to look myself in the eyes each morning seeing that I failed again.
Here and in meetings (online, f2f), in therapy, in podcasts, in books you can find plenty of support, parallels and differences, encouragement and also read almost daily from people who thought they could moderate.
I tried to deny my drinking and lean into the functional alcoholic box too … until i couldnt. Good for you for wanting to show up for your family 100%
Checking in here daily and going to alcoholics anonymous, getting a sponsor, and working the 12 steps have saved me from the hopeless addiction cycle after 20yrs of progression.
There can be multiple paths to sobriety for for lasting success it takes time and action
Isn’t this supposed to be a support group? Half the days is better than all the days. I know no days is the goal but you can piss off with your negative attitude.
Your first mission, if you choose to accept it, is to check in here daily, for one hour, every day. Post, and read, often. For me, I would also find as many AA meetings as possible, and attend them all. Within the first month, I recommend a sponsor, and step-work. You have a small child so I understand if you are not open to inpatient rehab, but outpatient rehab shall do. Therapy is a solid option to unpack whatever stuff comes up during the sobriety process.
Finally, change your habits: don’t go to the party, stay away from the bar, and dump out the liquor you already have.
Welcome to the community and congrats on the new baby. So much of what you wrote is so familiar like others have shared I too was a “functioning” alcoholic for many years. Worked everyday, bills were paid and kids were fed.Looking back now I definitely wasn’t as functional as I thought though. I’m glad you are here and looking to make those first steps to a better life for yourself. For me this community is full of loads of support and great information and is a huge part of my success at staying sober so far. Take some time to read around and join in Where you are comfortable. Hopefully it will help You as much as it did me .
Yup, I’ve told myself that because I’ve been employeed at the same job for 12 years, and 9 years at the previous job. Have a loving wife, work out regularly, go skiing, go on trips, own a house, pay the bills, that drinking a a 6 pack of 9% beers with a few shots in a night is a totally normal functioning thing to do.
And all the times I promised myself that I’d start to only drink weekends like other people and maybe by chance make it to Tuesday or Wednesday and make some excuse of a stressful day and it was right back where I started. But with the help of this community and some online AA meetings I’ve been sober for a little over a year now.
Use that beautiful girl you have as huge motivation, I have a daughter….in the beginning when I was finding it really difficult id even picture her face on the bottle I was wanting to go buy in my head and it really worked…ultimately youve got to do this for yourself but your little girl and wife can also be your motivation…for you to be the best dad you want to be, be a sober dad, congratulations on becoming a father, you can do this if your willing to put the work in.
Had everything you have Ricky and thought i was doing good but as time went by things got worse i had to admit i was a Alcoholic and went to a AA meeting in 1986 havnt looked back, wish you well
i suggest to reflect on why stating a fact makes you uncomfortable.
of course every sober day counts but alcohol and its metabolites need 3 days to physically leave the body. so in fact, you are not sober, you are just refilling the intoxication every second day.
maybe you dig deeper into how alcohol dependency works and why recovery and being sober two different pair of shoes are before you tell somebody to fuck of.
get help and put as at least as much time and energy into recovery as you put into drinking. Observe the difference. if you then think it’s the same successful, you can tell me a valid fuck off.
This may be a good starting point for you as @Deadman has suggested.
Welcome and congratulations on the birth of your daughter have a good look around on here and as said previously do LOTS of reading, find what will work for you so you can be the best, present Dad and live your best life for yourself and your family. You will eventually find that recovery is the best path you could have chosen
have a good look around on here and as said previously do LOTS of reading, find what will work for you so you can be the best, present Dad and live your best life for yourself and your family. You will eventually find that recovery is the best path you could have chosen 