I’m new to sobriety again this is my fourth try. And I usually get right around 35 of 40 days and start to drift. Im trying to do everything different this time. Being a huge reason why I’m writing this and putting my struggles out to the world. I usually always just say “I’m Good” even though I know im not. And I end up right back out there doing the same things that could of killed me this run. Dont know what I need or If there is anything anyone can help me with. But I just dont wanna get high anymore thats all I know. But man o man my mind isn’t letting me live at all. The devils been on my shoulder big time. And I need him to kick rocks.
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This apps a great place man welcome to TS, your human your bound to feel this way during the difficulty of coming clean, but to admit you have a problem is a great start, youve shown already you can do it as you do reach double digits, treat everyone as one day at a time, i can understand how the mind makes you feel during this, you can always reach out to someone here theres alot of great people here with so much knowledge and advice that could help you, were all in the same boat here no judgement
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond. I’ve come to the realization that I didn’t and don’t have any sober friends. So since coming home from rehab I just dont get hit up anymore. Because I’m not partying anymore so im no longer of use I guess 
. Maybe it’s they don’t wanna hurt me but feeling alone hurts alil more if that makes sense. I just truly appreciate the time taken.
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Sometimes to be a better person we have to deconstruct everything else and rebuild it all, we can all be products of our enviroments man, i personally believe its better to be alone than it is to be surrounded by the wrong people, youll meet lots of great people here who can point you into the right direction with support, but remember to go easy on yourself and understand you are only human mate
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Thank you so much man!!!
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Hey welcome to the community man. Taking this step was one of the biggest first right steps you can make. The first few weeks will be tough. But it’s doable, Being honest and staying accountable, finding a higher power and believing something greater then you are all steps in achieveing sobriety. Attending a.a, or n.a with other sober people will help alot. Changing up ppl places and things, get rid of dealers numbers, don’t hang out with ppl u have used with. Just keep doing new things bro, sobriety is handing in your old life and making a new one. What usually stop people is accepting that and the fear that yes you’re going to loose alot of friends and things to get there. But it’s all worth it…there are alot of great ppl here to help you stick around
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Thank you so much for the response. It all made alot of sense. And I know your absolutely right.
Good work josh! It sounds like you’ve struggled with addiction for a long time so it truly is a victory to even be in this place. I personally struggled with alcoholism for 15 years but with the help of my wife and this community I’ve got 9 months sober today. I didn’t think it would get easier nor did I believe my quality of life would improve but it has. As far as the friends situation goes man I’m sorry. I know how that feels. I grew up in a very religious family and all of my friends were in that organization. So when I left I lost all of those friends. In response to losing my lifelong friends I clung to any new relationships I developed. Even if they were toxic to me. I am in the process of detoxifying my life so I’ve cut myself off from those associates. You will meet people that are also trying to improve their lives and heal from their traumas. Those are the people you need to be involved with. Change the way you think about friends. A real friend will tell you when your fucking up and how to fix it (respectfully of course.) People that don’t do that aren’t a true friend. They are using buddies and nothing more.
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This was much needed and extremely helpful thank you so much!