I’m almost 11 months clean from a lot of things. On this journey I found someone and we’ve been dating for almost 4/5 months now. We are currently living together and everything. I’m just gonna start with the fact that I’m not right, not perfect, I am not. I have been noticing some odd things here and there and have not thought anything about them until lately it seems to be coming more frequent. From the beginning we had agreed to communicate anything and everything and we’d work through anything right. So last few times I’ve been given a shot to talk about anything I try to express my thoughts in those words about how I’m feeling. I feel like I’m not heard sometimes I feel like I’m ignored some other times, i repeat myself or try to a few times with no response really so I give up and shut up. I’m trying to vent right here right now since this is our sober community and we are supposed to help 1 another when it’s appropriate. I tried to express things not long ago and I basically got stormed upon and got asked why I was arguing… Like so basically whatever I had expressed where not feelings apparently they were an argument. I had to literally break down to fucking get anything out of me. We were supposed to do something right now but apparently since I did something wrong I got told she was just going back to sleep. It’s been a day in a half and I’m forced to stay next to her or I get bitched at now a days. I have brought out my thoughts and I’m ignored. Sorry guys I’m ranting. I have been journaling and posting this whole thing for the last hour at least crying and shes asleep or whatever
That is rough, I’m sorry you’re going through that.
It sounds like you guys might benefit from some space, so you can get perspective. Do you have somewhere else you can stay?
Unfortunately no. I was staying in a oxford house before this and I was homeless right before that. I am bipolar and unmedicated because nothing I try with meds ever works even given time
Theres always the opportunity to go back to an oxford house isnt there?
Yes and no. The house I was at had a bunch of dickheads and they could’ve put in their report to OHI that I left in bad standing or whatever. I didn’t relapse, I just left before rent was mandatory
That is rough; sounds like you’re feeling stuck.
I would say, it’s not helpful for anyone to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with them. If she’s busy with whatever she has going on, then maybe you can find some people to talk to, connect emotionally, get that healthy emotional connection somewhere else, like a recovery meeting, a twelve-step meeting, a SMART Recovery meeting, or something else.
Everyone needs human connection. The mission is to find people who want to connect, and then connect with them in a constructive way. It’s a learning process.
She’s also in recovery but we’re at different levels she’s a few months behind ms
Yeah but this is about you, not her.
You need healthy human emotional recognition. Everybody does. That’s why you’re angry: you have a legitimate human need, and it is not being met. If you’re not getting this need at home, you need to find it in a healthy space outside of home (recovery programs are one type of healthy space).
Ultimately there’s nothing you can do about her. To be free of the anger, you gotta let go of the idea that she owes you anything. I know that sounds weird but it’s true.
Yea that does sound a little weird haha. I mean there isnt anything she even does owe me. I’m just angry that I’m feeling alone without being heard in the process