I’m having so much trouble leaving cocaine along for good. I’ll have a couple good weeks then next thing I know I’m right back at it for an all nighter.
It’s killing me mentally and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been years of use, and years of trying to quit. I stopped for a solid 2 years, then had a traumatic experience and have been back at it for the past year or so…
What do I do? How do I stop this vicious cycle
For that one, in the beginning, you have to separate yourself from those people and those places. No doubt about it.
Only once you get away for it from a long time, the thought of it will disgust you. But you came to the right place. We are all in this together, you can do it!
Update; called PRS (Peer Recovery Service). It’s a hotline of clean addicts that check up with you weekly and help through the process. I’ve used it in the past about a year ago when I was first getting clean and it helped a lot.
I’ve scheduled weekly calls with the PRS service, and they helped me find local and online CA meetings to attend. Starting thode next week
I’m working on cleaning that up. Gotta distance myself my triggers, like alcohol and specific people.
Thanks for the support y’all. It means a lot. I appreciate it. @mx_elle @Bobbyw
This is amazing news!
That’s a great step to being proactive in your recovery
I can relate as this is what I’m going through. Best thing to do is first. Delete the numbers and block. Keep yourself away from them ppl and try not to socialising as much like pubs ect ur triggers. Do things u like to do even if u don’t feel like it that day. Come on here everyday u can do it. Ur already doing good as u have acknowledged ur problem and want to change. Always here if u need a chat. It is very hard but we can do it
It seems like we’re in the same boat. It’s like no matter what I do to rid iilt from my life, somehow this overwhelming urging overcomes me and I can’t stop myself from picking up and doing it. Then I can’t sleep and have immense guilt and feel like absolute trash the entire next day or two.
I’ve deleted the numbers and distanced my self from people. Although I work in a bar and it’s hard to not be in the environment. I can never get past like a week or two without the cravings taking over my mind. Idk what to do anymore
Keep trying. Healing is a process. If you don’t try and quit it will only get worse. Atleast u no and want to better your so I pray we both come out of this. My inbox is always open
I feel exactly the same. It’s reallllly doing my head in. Like soon as it’s coming up to a week. Or The day before 1 week notification it’s like il do the damage before the 1 week mark lol it’s not funny at all but it’s like we no not go do it but just the control takes over like my brain won’t listen or take control 
I find myself constantly fighting cravings and urges. And I lose the battle every time. It depressed me that I don’t have the willpower to say no to myself but also go through with it. I find myself saying no in my head, yet still going to pick up a bag. And it’s only late night after work. I have no other urges throughout the day. It’s only when I get out of work (I’m a bartender). Then I feel the need to grab a drink, the. I end up picking up.
I don’t know what to do anymore…I feel defeated
I’m so sick and tired of resetting the timer every goddamn week…I don’t know what to do anymore
AA
Therapy
Rehab
Outpatient
Spend 1 hour a day here
All good stuff to be around. If you can’t get to them then any other group/ community away from it. Start painting Warhammer at a shop or something even. As daft as that sounds!
Dr A
I’m doing some posts for you mate. I’m a doctor that lurks on here doing a bit of this kind of helping work. No charge and no appointments needed!
But yeah I’ve written some bits of basic medical advice etc for you. Working out how to help/ tackle the mental sides of this for yourself now.
Have a look at my long message for you first.
Have a good morning if you can,
Dr A
Yeah i know the feeling. Thankfully got a pre-employment i gotta take before Monday at 3pm. I’ll probably go Monday morning. Im nervous because even though I’ve only used 2-3 times this month in really really small amounts it has felt like i can feel the stuff that has been clogged up in my sinuses going back all month which has me kinda terrified right now. Anyway hopefully everything comes back fine because i really need this. Sigh.