I’ve battled with kratom for almost 3 years now. When I went on probation, and had to have an alcohol ankle monitor, someone mentioned it could help with any withdrawal I might have. Started with once a day. And it made me feel good. I didn’t know much about it. Then I got into opiates pretty heavy (bc they cleared my system in a few days so I could still ‘use something’ while on probation) and it seemed like a godsend for the withdrawal of those. Then I realized when I was taking it every 4 hours, and having to get out of bed to take it bc I couldn’t sleep, it was becoming a problem. Every time a thread about kratom pops up, I make sure to warn others not to start bc I didn’t have anyone to do that for me. Congrats on your month AF. And quitting smoking, something I definitely need to do. You can get thru this too 
I should of also mentioned that yes, it makes you feel good while you take it, but once it starts to wear off you will suffer from bad depression. Kratom Jack’s with your brain chemistry and once your body is adapted to having this in your system you will need it to feel good. But the good feeling is short lived and while using this is a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Not mentioned the gut problems, unbelievable constipation (embarrassing but true), bloating and just an overall miserable feeling. Skin issues, I swear I looked somewhat green and yellow sometimes and acne.
I’m on day 3. First two days were headaches and a little nausea. Today it kicked up in intensity. I was using about 14 grams per day for 3 months. It’s a relatively low dose. I compare this withdrawal to 2x a bad caffeine withdrawal. My amount used daily isn’t super high, though. Glad I’m not experiencing shakes, intense body pain that others report. Not fun.
It’s most definitely an addictive substance.
You have no idea how good it feels to know someone else understands me. I am super mom when I’m not sober. I’m the mom hosting every event, at every Girl Scout outing, coaching the soccer team, and just being very involved with my kid. But I needed my vise to have th energy to do it all. It’s so scary facing my everyday life as a mom without my substances. I hate that this is what its come to. If I’m cold turkey, my husband has to take care of the house and the kid while I sit in bed all day watching TV and fantasizing about Harry Styles. It’s just not fair to my family. I wanna be better but I’m scared I wont be who I need to be when I’m sober. Trying to hide the withdrawal symptoms from them is rough because no one knows about my addiction. It just sucks. I was clean for 2 weeks then relapsed. I have to get my life back because I just landed my dream job so things are looking up for me. I just hope I can handle life sober.
Hang in there. Kratom withdrawals are not fun, but they don’t last forever. If you’re able to handle your own reduction schedule, I would definitely encourage that as someone who was also very “high functioning” and hid my addictions; however, if you can’t, go cold turkey and let your husband help you out for a few days. In the scheme of things, you taking some days off to be sick and recover will be a blip on all the other days you showed up. Good luck and let your mind and body recover. It will take time, maybe even months before you feel 100%. Maybe you’ll never feel “as good” as you did taking something, but you will be free.