This was a super powerful read released today by Lamar Odom. He nearly died of organ failure in a tabloid filled explosion in 2015, and now he has finally come out with his own side of the story. Thought I would share this! So many good quotes from this, here are a few:
"I remember sitting there in bed, and for the first time in my life I couldn’t talk my way out of the situation. I was trapped all day in my own thoughts. And I kept thinking about something that my grandmother used to say to me when I was a kid.
I could see her face, like she was right there in the room.
“What’s done in the dark,” she would say, “will come out in the light.”
"With cocaine especially, there’s a high, and then an emotional low. So it’s like a roller coaster. You go high, and then you go low. High, low, high, low. After you do it, you feel shame. You think about all the reasons why you shouldn’t have done it. Then the cycle starts again. "
“I’ve been through so much that now I just want that little piece in the world … that little piece … where I don’t have to worry.”
Wow. That felt good to read that. How amazing it is to put in words exactly how you’ve struggled with life. Just life. When I began doing cocaine three years ago, i didn’t know it was going to turn me into the person it did. Shame, just pure shame. My best friend who died almost two years ago tried to warn me and I didn’t listen. Now I see, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” It’s a hell of a drug. It will make you do things you never thought you’d do. It will turn you into a different person. It will put you in situations where you say to yourself, “How the fuck did I get here?”
I’m glad I am here today. Sober 13 days and reading stories like this. Thank you for the share @Livy, Amazing article.
I totally agree @Miss_B, I couldn’t believe the person I became. The worst part was sometimes not how I looked to others, but how I looked to myself- and the thoughts that would run through my mind. Constantly on that cocaine cycle and it involved my everyday thinking even if I wasn’t an everyday user! Totally been in situations that I look back on now and just want to shake my past self, “what the hell are you thinking!?” Hell of a drug!