What is the difference between lapse and relapse? And does ur time start over if u have a lapse?
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Hi Bethany,
I am not really sure but I think itās somehow defined by the length of your drinking period.
In any case Iād say: reset the timer. Otherwise itās a slippery slope. Iād be always again somehow in the moderation loop. Having to control when and how much Iād be drinking.
None is easy to maintain if I donāt have the first drink.
Rather than worrying about the time you collected before picking up or using again is in my opinion what led you to go back into using your DoC?
Why did you think your doc would make a situation better? Where there signs before that you ignored?
Edit: you donāt lose your sober time. The work you put in is not lost but there might be still missing some thing. But thatās what we are here for. We learn from and with each other.
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There isnāt a difference. A relapse is a relapse. If you were trying to stay sober and then you picked up or used then itās a relapse and you start over. It happens. However, if you are upset that you lost all your days you can always use that as a motivation to not pick up again. I know for me Iāve worked very hard to get where I am at these days and I am not willing to trade these days in for anything. So in order to avoid losing my days I make sure that I continually work on my recovery!
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I do not think there is a difference between a lapse a relapse. If it occurs the timer should be reset to zero.
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I think I remember seeing something from SMART recovery (not 100% sure!) differentiating between a slip and a relapse. Like @anon74766472 says I think it was mainly a question of time spent/ damage done. If you have had a slip and can get back to recovery before it reaches full blown relapse, that is ideal. Although of course not slipping is more ideal!
On the question of resetting the timerā¦ I have had dreams before where I didnāt reset after one drink and then I just kept sneaking a drink and then it spiralled. That might also have happened in real life with smoking cigarettes. Whether or not you reset your timer is up to you. But personally my timers are for total abstinence. More accountable that way.
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I have seen some define the difference between a lapse and relapse as a one time use vs returning to the old ways of constantly using.
But in my opinion does that distinction really matter? If you CHOOSE to use you reset. It doesnāt diminish the work youāve done in the past, it just becomes a part of your journey. But if you donāt reset those anniversary celebrations will always feel not quite right.
YOU CAN DO IT!
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Thank u every1 for ur adviceā¦ i asked this question cuz ive never hear this until today n a group im n and i wanted to understand this better. Im 104 days sober today and feeling greatā¦ appreciate ur feedbackā¦ when i heard this i felt that a relapse is a relapse so thanks for ur inputā¦ 1 day at a timeā¦
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Congrats on 104 days!
I think its detrimental to oneās (and others) sobriety to make a distinction between the two, especially if youāre making up seperate rules for each. Some people hear āI can induldge and call it a slip AND I can continue my sobriety like nothing happened? Sign me upā. Next thing you know, they slipping every day.
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This is true. Weāve talked about this in meetings. They look at it as lapse or slip, is a minor setback without going into full blown relapse. But with that being said itās still acknowledged as a time you werenāt sober, regardless of the amount consumed. So even though you donāt lose that sober time and keep using the tools that got you there, you still have to reset and begin again ODAAT.
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My understanding of the terms is a lapse is a one time slip and you pick back up on sober living immediately. A relapse is you fall back to old habits and do not immediately return to sober living. For me, I would reset my timer for either.
I donāt believe you āstart all overā I believe you ADD to what you have learned along the way and during that time. Your previous hard work is not lost, you still achieved that. But your timer, that would start over. That is just my opinion however.
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I can see the appeal of having both ālapseā and ārelapseā in oneās recovery vocabulary because itās less black and white and allows for variation in the sober journey. But my booze brain needs the black and white. Most of my bad drinking habits would have counted as just ālapsesā if weāre defining them by time spent drinking and quantity of drinks. I wasnāt an every day drinker and would mainly spend one evening saucing myself up and then be back to sober living. I think if youāre sitting doing calculations, you have a problem. My booze brain loves math-anything to convince myself I am totally fine. Variation in my sober journey means I am not sober. Period. Too slippery a slope to travel!
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After 36 days, i had a drink which led to many! Although I had fun, i missed my days of sobriety and regret starting over with single digit numbers! Regardless, im being honest with the app and not beating myself up over it. It just requires me to carry on!
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Thatās pretty wicked sweet, Bootz.
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