Ugh that is so me … from the very start I drank to get drunk anything less was a complete waste for me and in the end it destroyed my life
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But just for today I’m sober and happy and I cried today which at first pissed me off BUT THEN I realized I was feeling emotions I was hurt at first and that was alright but the fact that I was able to produce tears was such a landmark for me because I haven’t shed a tear since I was a child and then I became thankful it was a moment of gratitude
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Personally I think your born with it. My mom admitted to me following my second rehab residential ha ha, that I got drunk for the first time when I was 4 years old 
… My nan used to make wine in her garden shed and one day I was helping but little did she know I was drinking it. My mom returned home to a happy then sad then angry drunk 4 year old 
… I have no recollection, must if blacked out
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My thoughts exactly, it’s a rabbit hole that leads to unacceptance. Sometimes life isn’t fair and we deal with things the best way we can. Best way to handle this, accept and move on, no matter the trauma and history of heritage we all chose to use. Now we can choose not to it’s that simple.