This is my first time posting here. I imagine many of our stories was the same. In short I had never tried drugs until the age of 21. At the age of 21 I started experiencing an auto immune disease called inflammatory Arthritis. It changed my life forever. Painkillers Doctor shopping that that was all I needed but or at least thought I needed. Took me 10 years to realize that I didn’t can thank drug enforcement for that. Our rabbit holes maybe shallow or deep or on going However they were still rabbit holes. I had some time good sobriety time however the last year was very difficult and I did relapse because of my auto immune inflammat I on flares. I know what my trigger is my trigger and that is unbearvle unreleting throbbing joint pain. experiencing something like that at the age of 21 changed my life forever. when one experiences more pain than any human being should ever have to experience, espexially jf jt last for weeks, it takes a toll on ones mind and body. my deformed my fingers can show you that however while i was in sobriety i rose beyond that and begining with just 5 min a week incremenets within 3 years i could work out for 2 hours no problem. Last Jan after 45 days of this pain and other stressfull situtations my whole body flared. At the r5th day i ejther wanted to kill myself or find relief. i chose relief… that relief woke up the villian that had ben waiting and this last year was just like it was before recovery. This past Wednesday I decided that I no longer wanted to take those painkillers after my relapse for a year I had tried fetinyl for a week; originally That wasn’t my drug of choice, blues were 30s but they were just way too expensive and I thought in all .y wisdom that fentayl was next best Thing would be that which was stronger than cheaper And I was dead wrong. I had never made the decision on my own before and i was completly honest with my father so i could withdrawal at his plCe rather than mine. if i learned anything it is dont be scared, get close to your family and dont even think about it just tell them that you need help. other than some obvious withdrawals i am now myself again but j couldnt have done it without being completely open with my father who understands loves and supports even when im using. it was his unconditional love that brought me back.
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Welcome to Talking Sober. I’m glad you have made the decisions you have and are where you are… inspiration for many.
There’s continued support here for you. I’m sorry you’ve endured so much pain but glad you’ve escaped the drugs.
I appreciate the support. There is a plan. Take the coreect meds watch my diet and succesfully acheive 30 days of no flares. today marks end of day 3.
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Understanding that your situation is individual to you, there is a “Daily Check In Thread to Help Maintain Focus” and many other threads that could be helpful to you by just reading or participating in, in one way or another. Again, welcome to the site.
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