What is this tie? Why do I feel so sad at the thought of not being in a pub with my mates. They tell me that I am too hard in myself and I can have a drink here and there. I know the truth. I know I cannot her without beating myself up, without drinking and driving, without ditching work and without a long sleepless night. Why can’t I stay consistent in this choose to leave this lifestyle. I hate how I do not feel I control.
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I feel you, whatever you do just don’t give up on yourself. I know how it is to relapse over and over again, I tell myself 2024 will be different and it will be the best year ever. I hope you can say the same. I wish you the best on your journey and remember that you are not alone in this!
The control will come with letting go of that old life style. If your mates are good friends they’ll do sober shit with you too. You don’t have to worry about anything except today, stay in the moment 
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If sobriety wasn’t worth it this place wouldn’t exist. You can do this.
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Edit: I’ve also left all my friends for my sobriety. It was tough but it is very important to do!
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When I was 22, I got a new job & I made some new friends. Our favorite thing to do was go to the bar on Friday after work. Then on Wednesday too, and soon Tuesdays and Thursdays, then everyday. I got to know the other regulars and staff and owner. It was like a big family.
I ended up working at this place for 8 years and always had the core group. After I moved on with my employment, that bar remained the anchor to many relationships. Even though I worked somewhere else, I still met my friends there 3 to 4 times a week.
If I was ever lonely, I could go there and there would be someone I knew and could hang out with. It was like a home away from home.
Then, I quit drinking. I was 40.
I had spent 28 years of my life in that bar, with the same people. 28 years… it was all that I knew.
I couldn’t quit drinking if I still hung out in a bar, so I quit going.
I thought for sure that my friends would start calling to check up on me… they didn’t.
It took a while to realize, all those good friends I made over the years, they weren’t friends at all. They were miserable people wanting the company of other miserable people, and I was no longer willing to be miserable.
So, when I got sober, I came here. I found some new friends and re-learned how to live, sober.
Then found some sober friends at work and started rebuilding that friend network. So far so good.
Leaving that life behind, along with those friends is hard, scary, and lonely, but it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, maybe it means it’s time to move on, find your new pack to run with, and until then, you have us.
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Thank you so so much. This really helps put it all in perspective Thank you for taking the time to respond to me 
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Thank you very much. I guess that is the truth isn’t it. Kind of like jumping off a cliff. I just can’t live in this rut any longer. My life is good in many ways but super poor in others. I am
Ready to truly live.
Thank you!! I am sure a couple will and a few won’t but your response helps me keep it in perspective. Thank you