My 14 year boyfriend left me,too. I lost many of my “friends”. My dog is gone. I feel lonely too. But drinking is not a solution I tried it. Its just an additional problem. I had 3 cats when my dog passed. I adopted two more. We are just waiting to be better. I cant say I am very social or productive now. Just trying to heal my wounds. Please don’t panic. I am trying to not to.
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Sorry, i saw this kinda late, hows everything going with you now? And thank you for sharing, we are in this together 
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Thanks for asking, its been difficult. I gave him another chance and it hasnt gone well. Just stressful day after stressful day and theyre getting worse. Its gotten to the point where I feel like I have to leave for my mental health
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Thanks, sending love - hope you are doing good
I’m sorry to hear that. When a relationship is effecting your health, mentally and/or physically, it is time to leave it. This sounds hard. I only can tell from my own experience that holding on to a toxic, stressful relationship is doing harm to myself. I still struggle to let go because of my codependent pattern and trauma but it gets easier each time I sit with it and dig to the roots where my feelings / wishing / resentments /stress / expectations come from. It helps me to put the situation in perspective and gives me the chance to make and live healthy boundaries. It is hard and my emotions are sometimes all over the place but I work on caring good for myself. This involves to keep distance allthough a part of me wants connection.
I’m not sure if my sharing is helpful. I wanted to point out that it is ok to try and it is necessary to leave before damaging oneself further. Sending you strenghth 
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Congratulations on your soberiety and massive congratulations on ditching that @#£#@&!
You’ve got an amazing clean slate and this is a highly exciting time!
Urghhhhh I find it alarming that he’s trying to crawl back, his actions speak louder than words… Always think of the actions.
This is a great time to get a social circle. You can move into a new relationship with a social circle, instead of being isolated.
These are things that have worked for me!
Volunteering! I like to volunteer doing tree planting and conservation, but there are also other opportunities and types! It’s a great way to meet really nice people and gives a great sense of achievement at the same time.
Social dancing! I started Lindy hop and there are people of all ages and you get to meet and talk and dance with everyone! It’s amazing!
A climbing / sport club. I have been in mountain biking and kayaking clubs in the past, and am currently in a climbing club, it’s so easy to meet people, you’ve got to just get yourself out there.
I’m so happy for you! Keep stepping forwards, not back
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It absolutely is helpful. Thank you! Healthy boundaries. That is definitely where I messed up with this relationship I believe, but some people make it harder to establish healthy boundaries than others and if you already struggle with that it turns into an unhealthy relationship quickly. Glad to hear it gets easier everytime you sit with it. I am going to try that. Sending good vibes your way also
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Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement! Truly appreciate it 
Yes, actions over words every time. I’m still learning to implement that.
I really have missed spending time with a group of likeminded individuals/friends… can I ask how you found your conservation club and kayaking club? I enjoy the outdoors too and think I would benefit from that
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So I’m in the UK and there are a number of ways to volunteer, I do it through the National Trust, also a Wildlife charity and have also volunteered through Butterfly Conservation which is also a charity I think.
I found them via Google. If you think of a national park, or a green area near yourself there should be something to get involved with, or a charity or group in your area/country. It doesn’t have to be conservation, there’s also opportunities to volunteer at food kitchens or food banks etc! Look up charities you like.
For the kayaking I just searched the internet for in my local area, put in the names of towns near you and the thing you are interested in and see what comes up. Google maps is also good for this. If something comes up that is almost right, like a shop that sells the gear or something, you could call them and ask about clubs in the local area.
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Check out the Meetup app. I find lots of groups to connect with, specifically hiking groups for me, on that app.
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Well that’s probably a good idea If you are thinking that then you should leave. You need to focus on you right now and getting sober and doing what’s best for you and your life and your mental health everyone else and everything needs to be on hold until other wise til your feeling tip top shape you know. Hope your doing okay
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Or maybe life has handed you a clean slate. You’re sober, back home, and not beholden to anyone except yourself. You have an opportunity to build a new life, almost from scratch, but also have the benefit of hindsight. You might make new mistakes, but with a clear, sober mind, you can avoid making old ones.
Take some time and enjoy keeping your own counsel. Get to know the new and improved you.
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