Day 2.
I’ve talked myself away from drinking 20 times today
Because it was sunny. Because I felt good. Because I wanted to relax. Because I could. Because I was finally off work. Because it was getting dark…
And, it’s So easy…just stop at the local brewery(there is 3 within 10 mins of me). Or…i was already at the store…why not grab that Btl of wine?
Ugh.
It’s gets better pal. It gets easier.
One day at a time
@Ujuj For me the first 48 hrs were horrible for me… because I was so hungover 6 days ago the only thing to do was keep drinking and surprisingly I said NO… I was tired of the cycle and you will get there… try to keep your mind busy, stay strong you got this💪🏼
Have you considered reaching out for support in real life. It seems like you have some free time if you have all those opportunities to drink. Why don’t you try hitting a meeting?
Actually the struggle ENDS once you get solidly sober. That internal dialogue fades away and life and mind become …clear.
It doesn’t happen right off, but it DOES happen if you get and stay sober. It is FREEDOM.
You know what the wine offers…shame. regret, hangovers, anxiety, dark thoughts etc. Try seeing what the alcohol free life offers. There is a bright big beautiful world out there waiting for you.
Wishing you strength and clarity in your journey. 
The more distance you put between yourself and alcohol the more clearly you can see it’s not the answer. Press on! We’re rooting for you. Take it one day at a time.
It’s normal to feel conflicted. Its called addiction for a reason.
https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
Remember that some self care will help you feel alot better right now. Get some nutrition in. Hydrate. Shower. Clean up a little. You will start feeling more human soon.
Every hour sober is an accomplishment for the first few days. Pat yourself on the back as your day progresses. And find a good book!
You made it true the first couple days, that means you value yourself! Just be on the watch out for moments of immense emotion. I would advise to have an AA group for getting true those ruffest patches.
Stay strong and accept that your addiction will pop up some times but know that you do not have to listen to it anymore 
Maybe try a meeting they help they helped me Because i went to meetings wish you well
Keep talking yourself out of it . It will happen natural eventually. Stay strong