Is like to talk a little more because I’m struggling with kind of the samething at the moment so if it’s possible to maybe get to know each other and possibly turn to you if i need help I’m sorry if new to the recovery scene and need more sober friends
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Sure. Welcome Keith. We sure ain’t the only ones here. Not too many men though. More ladies and trans and such. And it is a tough subject for me still. Anyhow, it’d be nice to get to know you. Greets Menno.
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I’m interfering just to correct: trans men are men, trans women are women, not a different group (definitely not “such”).
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This is exactly what I did @Jayms1989 I got married and had 2 kids, first lesbian relationship at the age of 13 and then it was sex with lots of men to, what I thought in my head was prove a point to people, especially my dad, that I was not gay. I had female affairs too. Then I moved away and started a fresh. When my mum met her wife, her wife said she knew I was gay and that I need to just come out and be comfortable and free. So I did because no one knew me where I moved too. Now I embrace it 
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Ok sorry Tomek. Thanks for the correction.
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The reason there is no thread like this is bc as far as addiction is concerned it doesn’t care who you are…
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True, it can happen to anyone. Still, there are higher addiction rates among lgbtq+ populations compared to the general public due to social oppression, abuse, and identity crises.
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I can well believe that 
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I hold my breath still at this one…
I rarely tell the outside world my sexual orientation for two reasons.
- Big fear of rejection and people giving the well you dont look like a lesbian, please tell me what a lesbian woman looks like.
- Who i share my bed with, my life with is no ones buisness but mine.
Im a recovering sex addict and one of the main reasons was because i was sure i could sleep with x amount of men and that would make me straight and my family would be none the wiser. I also got into two particulatr scenes so i could at least have female conact without my family finding out my other life.
When i did admit i was a lesbian all hell broke lose and my family still today dont talk to me…
I tried to have a relationship with my mother but all it did was rub me up the wrong way… Partily because she feels im a sinner.
I am 32 and i dont have much family support my sister is the only one im building a relationship with.
My step dad was very supportive of me, he sadly passed 4 years ago… I miss him everyday… As he put it he wished when he was younger he’d done more!
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It’s so infuriating to read stories like yours. I mean what’s the point in creating a worldview that doesn’t actually represents the real world?! What’s the point in assuming that only white cis hetero people exist and if encounter different people in real life hate them for existing and if it happens to be a child, then disown them?! It’s so fucking pointless and it causes so much pain.
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Thank you all for being so brave and voicing your stories here. I am certain your pain will bring wisdom to others in similar situations. I came out as bisexual, a common transition to coming out as gay, at 15 and my mother rejected me. I tried being with men to the point of nauseam and trauma. I even went so far as to produce a child. Today I am married to my beautiful wife, and my mom is coming around. It hasn’t been easy, but I am much happier living outloud. We deserve all the same milestones and protections of everyone else. Family relationships can be really complicated. It’s okay to grieve and set boundaries to protect yourself from harm and toxicity.
You are loved, safe, and valued!! 
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Awww man, some of these stories break my heart
You’re all so strong. Well done everybody 
I’m glad you’re here and part of this open community 
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Hi! ! You are definitely not alone! We are here for/with you!!
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just put up my first post about this subject (feel free to read it) and how now I’m sober and going through counciling I’ve also been looking at other parts of my life and being …so at the age of 45 after watching a story line on emerdale and a few months of research etc realise that I identify myself as being asexual (greysexual) …loved reading youre story tha kyou for sharing …pete
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I am heavily involved in PFLAG. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a support group for LBTQIA+, their families, their friends and allies.
The age range in our local group is 7 to 75 and so many stories are similar to your own. We do have family members who come to the table with so much anger and misunderstanding, even when faced with these myriad of people telling them how they tried to be SOMETHING OTHER than their authentic self.
It’s heartbreaking and also hopeful. Every once in awhile, we have a reunion story, when the stories mattered and made a difference.
I tell our group: If your Mom won’t accept you, I’m your Mom, now.
Danni and Jaymie, I think you’re perfect just the way you are.
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I check in here too, although I have no idea of my orientation. I came out as a trans guy pretty late (at the age of 35-36 I guess – 2 years ago) already married, having 2 kids. It’s the most difficult thing I have ever encountered and I’m still not over the rough part yet, I don’t know if it ever gets better or not. I hope it will. This and addiction totally overwrote everything I knew about life and makes me rebuild myself from ground zero. Biggest adventure for sure.
I’m really grateful for all the stories shared, they help a lot.
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Awwww thank you! I am a big advocate of chosen family. Living authentically is so important to wellness and recovery. I know for me it was paramount that I decide whether I wanted to live or die, and what kind of message I wanted to send my son about life, love, and happiness. The backlash had some dark winding turns, but I can see clearly now that I made the best decision - I only wish I had made it sooner. We all have our chains to carry, but keeping your identity a secret can be so traumatic. I’m glad you all have found some comfort here.
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My kids were definitely the only thing that made me decide to stay alive. Being a model for them really helps me to live according to my values. I don’t want them to inherit all those things I was taught, the things that make self-love pretty much impossible.
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I am not LGBTQ+ but just wanted to swing by to show some love and support for my sober LGBTQ+ brothers, sisters and non binary buddies:heart:
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All I know for certain is it’s not your fault and you are worthy of love.
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