Where do I start? This year has been a complete shit show.
My 12 year old daughter has been committed to a mental hospital twice.
My beautiful baby girl has cuts all up and down her body. In her most recent attempt to hurt herself she took too many of her pills. She was fine physically but the attempt…that is fucking scary.
My stepdaughter, boyfriend and their baby moved in, and it hasn’t been going well at all. They laid around for over 6 months. My husband got the boyfriend a job, but my stepdaughter continued to stay home and “chill”.
When we are all in the same room My stepdaughter doesn’t even acknowledge my presence or my two daughters presence.
They have been using my 16 year old daughter’s car, while we keep insurance on it and do the maintenance.
My husband finally had a big talk with them, and the very next day my stepdaughter is writing shit online about how she “has to get out of this living situation”. Oh and by the way that same day she wrote that shit we had bought them their own car.
She never asked ONCE how my daughter was doing in the mental hospital.
Confronted her about what she was writing online, and she called me a fucking c*nt and said that I deserve what I am going through.
I left my own house and stayed with my sister for a few days.
They are STILL at my house. My husband is fighting me on kicking them out! He gave them until the end of MAY.
I know that my Grandson is also involved but they will always be loosers. Nothing is ever good enough.
I’m tired of being treated like absolute shit in my own house. I’m worried about my girls, and especially my 12 year old who is having a mental health crisis.
I don’t know how but I’m 114 days clean. Pills are my thing, but I haven’t even drank.
For the first time in my life I am standing up for myself! The old me would have caved in and just made things better for the sake of not wanting to be hated or the confrontation.
This SUCKS dealing with all these emotions so early on in my sobriety. But I am proud. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit. My daughters don’t deserve to be treated like shit.
In a strange way I am becoming who I always wanted to be!
This sounds like such an important step in recovery, like you are finally realizing that you are important and worth defending, and that you are learning to set healthy boundaries with others to protect your sobriety and well-being.
I understand your pain regarding your 12 year old - in 2019 I carried my best friend into the emergency room after serious self-harm. I’ve never been the same since that night. I’ve never prayed harder or been so happy to see a doctor. I don’t know her situation but I believe that this can heal, too.
Did you tell your husband what she called you, IN YOUR HOME??
I wouldn’t put up with any of that. Who does she think she is? Seriously, I’m mad just reading it I can imagine how you feel.
Good on you for standing your ground, setting healthy boundaries and showing your limits.
I hope that your other daughter gets the help she needs, and she can get herself well.
I’m gonna give you my opinion, and we’ll. It’s pretty blunt.
Your home your rules. You have expectations to be met from your adult stepdaughter who brought a family in tow. You have been more than generous offering a car, a place to chill while they get on their feet, and they started freeloading, eh that’s more than enough leeway.
You bought them a car. And she called you a C U Next Tuesday. Cause she got called out for talking shit, I’d be grateful for someone to buy me a car, And doing as much as you can to help them.
Now she’s putting a divide between you and your husband, i can see his point of view that it is his daughter and there’s a child involved, but where’s the line between being a enabler and helping your children
This post is giving me backlash anxiety and grief. The way your stepdaughter but MOST OF ALL YOUR HUSBAND are treating you is absolutely shocking. The stepdaughter seems like a vapid, ignorant, deeply unhappy person, so whatever. But what the f is up with the husband and how little he has your back and makes your health and happiness and sobriety a priority! That is such a betrayal, especially with the situation of your own daughter. That hurts, I’m sure.
I can only express that I wish you have some support somewhere else, that you are able to look after your own needs which it seems you are now and that’s absolutely wonderful! Don’t let these ppl walk all over you and shit on your dignity. Hold your head up high. Work your recovery. You deserve a good, peaceful life. Congrats on looking after yourself and remaining clean and sober! Wish you a lot of strenght! Serenity prayer the shit out of this situation if you have to.
Yes. And this is the THIRD time she has called me this. I have been with my husband for 10 years.
10 years of this bull shit, and trying to develop a relationship with his daughter, and his two sons.
I used to cry because I wanted a relationship so bad with his kids, but they just weren’t having it.
I have come to peace with knowing I will never have a relationship with her or probably any of them. But I just want my home back! She is ruining my home.
Totally understandable. My heart hurts for you. My advice would be to accept his kids are who they are and let go of the hopes to get a good relationship with them.
And also urgently to address what is wrong in your marriage, defo couples counselling or therapy! Your husband is not on your side and that is a painful and untenable place (speaking from experience with a long term partner who was not on mine).
Thank you, and yes I know we have made it easy on them. I really hoped that if they saw how hard we worked and loved that they would see good things come to those who do good things!
I have spoke my opinion and stated I want them out. I even packed their stuff the next day after her outburst and disrespect. But somehow she always weasels her way back in with her “daddy”.
He seems to think that if they fail because we kick them put that it’s our fault. I have told him time and time again, we are NOT responsible for your adult children. They choose not to work for months. They didn’t work while she was pregnant, and then when the boyfriend got a good paying seasonal job this summer they blew it on pot. Then when that job was done. They both sat on their asses until my husband got the boyfriend a job.
In the 6 months that they have been here…they saved $100!! And mind you they have assistance that pays for the baby’s formula and food, their food, and we bought diapers and items the baby needed.
They won’t change. They will continue to bounce from house to house. This is the 7th time they have moved in a year and a half by the way. And each time it’s because my stepdaughter “has to get out of her living situation!” The world is always against her.
Its just crazy!
Oh my goodness, what a hard situation! To a certain extent I understand your husband wanting to help his kids, but their lack of common manners and much less gratitude is appalling. And what a difficult situation for ur daughter to work on her mental health. And I pity the baby in the future too. You are correct the only way to start to deal with this is sober. Congratulations on your time. Sending strength
I guess I’m hardened but I wouldn’t put up with any of that, even with him. Life is hard enough without your peeps at home berating you. Also I read something that stuck with me a while ago; you teach people how to treat you. What you put up with basically that doesn’t jibe with your morals or beliefs.
I’ve been accused of being too lenient on my son and since I’ve been sober I don’t take any crap from him; which is why he says I’ve gotten meaner since being sober, lol.
I know it was a lot different when I was younger but I left at 18 and never looked back. It’s time for them to grow up; if they can make a baby and buy pot then they can choose what they want in life.
Sorry, this is a sore spot with me! Hugs to you…
I’m so sorry you are going thru that. I wouldn’t put up with it. Your husband is doing his kids no favors be enabling them. He should have immediately kicked them out when she called you a c$@&.
I can’t even think about the baby, it makes me so upset. I know he will have a hard life.
They stay in the basement which is pretty large, and laid out like a studio apartment. Bedroom area and living room area, and then some extra space that has an air hockey table.
They sit in the basement with the lights off all day and night with the TV on. It makes me so sad for the baby.
We grab him after work most nights, play with him, read to him, he absolutely ADORES my husband. They just don’t get it.
I was hoping a baby would make her grow up a little bit… it hasn’t.
And she probably won’t let us see the baby anymore once she leaves, another heartache I am coming to terms with.
