Just getting it out…been packing since Sunday. I cannot even describe the chaos we arrived to…my parents (Dad) had moved half of the junk from the storage shed out to tables and lawn for a yard sale. Then they had started emptying drawers and closests and putting piles of stuff on every floor furniture or counter surface. Obviously our decision to give them a couple of days on their own b4 we arrived was the wrong one. Anyway…the last 2 days we were able to get everything packed up and ready to load up later today.
It has not been very enjoyable for any of us and that makes me feel bad. The stress is getting the better of me for sure. I am pretty peeved at my 3 brothers right now having all this on my shoulders. I imagine my parents are regretting their decision to move near me right now! I just hope we all survive the next month so we can enjoy the fruits of all this emotional and physical labor. The stress isn’t good for any of us and especially not my parents. I am grateful to still have them in my life and hope today brings us some calmer moments. We all had a nice respite yesterday to chat with a neighbor we love and that was a highlight. We are staying beachside and sunrises have been glorious + dolphins!! . And seeing the big beautiful moon each night. Grateful I am not hungover for any of this. This shit is stressful. Not a fan of chaos anymore. Nor of obligation. We persist. Thanks for listening.
Sending you a warm hug. You are doing an amazing job Sassy. One day at a time. You will get there and through this. God and we all are on your side. Please keep letting us know.
Oh boy, you are in the thick of it now. That light at the end of the tunnel sure is dim now, hopefully it will get brighter with each passing day. Sending lots of positive energy your way!
First, you are doing amazing. I know we go back in our minds and wish we could redo some things, retract some comments, etc - but please go easy on yourself. And the compromised lifestyle/self care is a product of the situation, not of poor or inadequate choices on your part! Ok, maybe you know all of these things and I am saying them to myself? Still, can’t hurt to say it again!
When Mom was moved, quickly, after Dad died - I tried to argue for more time to take a methodical approach. Didn’t get it. (But that’s a whole other story.) When I was in town that summer, and I spent a lot of time there, she and I would go to the house and would try to tackle one thing, say vases. There were TONS. Which two to take? Any to gift to relatives? Good with donating the rest?
The thing was, she had already moved, rather chaotically/haphazardly (sister and brother-in-law) and the contents of the house were in a lot of the “drawers-emptied-in-a-pile” state you describe.
Not only was it overwhelming for me, I could see how her own capacity had diminished (understandably) as it was totally overwhelming for her. For entirely other reasons it was overwhelming for my sister (who handles things differently).
I guess I’m just sharing all of this because I don’t think these events in life come around so often that we get to practice and finesse how we do them. We just do them. The best we can. And learn a lot about life and ourselves if we want to. I think you’re doing all of that.
Sending you an extra UHaul of compassion, hugs, some extra butterflies and dragonflies in the garden, milder temps to enjoy the enchanted outdoors, and the knowledge that you are doing enough, and doing more than good enough.
Thank you for describing this succinctly - I lost one of my parents recently (first parent to go) and I worry a lot about whether I did things right when they were in front of us. It helps to know that others have found this overwhelming too and more importantly, why.
Oh, it’s totally overwhelming! I’m so sorry about your loss.
It’s such a complicated thing, losing a parent, hey? It’s something we all go through, but I was struck by how different this can be for us all, for so many reasons. And how I had to, well, parent myself through it. Still am. (And a lot more easily having set down the corkscrew, sigh…)
I hope that time has brought some ease and peace around your loss and all the associated changes.
I’m seeing this after you wrote it two days ago. Are y’all out on the road now in the U-Haul?
Big hugs. @SassyRocks You’ve done a wonderful job, chaos, stuff everywhere and all, that is always very stressful. Congratulations for getting through it as you have.
Also for you @M-be-free49 and @Dirk
and everyone else.
@dirk, I am sorry for your loss. I am blessed to have my parents today, but I know very much so that each day is a gift. I hope you are doing okay. And yes, so grateful to be sober thru this. I cannot imagine how awful I would have been.
@M-be-free49 and @Alisa …thank you my friends. I was literally just writing up a FB update for friends and family saying how much this beautiful peaceful cool mountain air morning is refreshing me this AM after Florida summer heat and humidity (not ideal moving weather). Em, your reply teared me up. The things my Dad packed, it was unfathomable to me, but I let him do his thing (mostly)…I am their daughter after all and have the same stubbornness. My Mom just kind of let us do the packing with some input, which I appreciated. It was hard to leave them yesterday. I worry one will go soon …my husband’s Mom never spent a night in her new place before she died… and that keeps popping up for me (I think I shared that already). So I try to savor the chaos (did not succeed much there). It is 3 weeks b4 Mom and Dad make the final move here and I am hopeful they make it and we have some time. The stress is not healthy for any of us, especially them.
Alisa, we drove up yesterday and head over shortly to start unloading, unpacking and organizing and setting up. Still some more hurdles.
I am so grateful to be home. Thankful I can do this for my parents, and that I didn’t strangle either of them or yell at them…tho I was definitely snippy and exasperated…as were they…at times. Humans having human reactions.
And I needed to hear this, because my brain is not functioning on full right now with all the stuff in it. So thank you!!
We muddle thru. Am grateful to have y’all and TS to process this with.
. And seeing the big beautiful moon each night. Grateful I am not hungover for any of this. This shit is stressful. Not a fan of chaos anymore. Nor of obligation. We persist. 
Thanks for listening.
Sending you a warm hug. You are doing an amazing job Sassy. 
My Mom just kind of let us do the packing with some input, which I appreciated. It was hard to leave them yesterday. I worry one will go soon …my husband’s Mom never spent a night in her new place before she died… and that keeps popping up for me (I think I shared that already). So I try to savor the chaos (did not succeed much there). It is 3 weeks b4 Mom and Dad make the final move here and I am hopeful they make it and we have some time. The stress is not healthy for any of us, especially them.