Hey there! Congrats on the 10 days, thats great!
I have been in your shoes before. 4/5 years ago, i just needed to get my life together! But i just couldnt do it on my own. Opiates, other drugs, and alcohol had ahold of me before i even realized it. Everyone else saw it, but not me. I wasnt “that bad”… Long story short, i ended up in rehab, stayed 90 days. I was doing well but then i met the wrong person and ended up relapsing. Over and over again. Rehab was supposed to cure me, but it didnt. Id go back to rehab, Id get sober, continue doing those same ole things, id relapse. Ive been down pretty low before, lowest of the low in my eyes… I continued down the same path for almost 5 years… Get sober for a little bit then relapse. Id start ofd by having just a couple drinks ar dinner, then boom, the black outs came again. But I knew i wanted to be sober though because life was just hard and shitty for someone in active addiction. I wasnt truely happy. I never had any money, so how was i supposed to get a place? I hung out with the wrong people, bc i honestly couldnt depend on my so called friends. Maybe 1 or 2 but that was it. And i wanted real friends… people who cared and wanted the best for me. I could barely hold down a part time job bc my priorities were always elsewhere, always! So how was i to get a full time job? I needed full time to pay the bills and rent. I wanted to be successful, not just an addict that couldnt get her shit together.
Fast forward to today. I have over a year sober from alcohol and other drugs, almost 3 years off opiates.
So how did i do it right? I had to change! The people i was hanging out with, needed to change. The places i was hanging, i needed to change. The things i was doing, i needed to change. So i started going to AA after 5 years of fighting this disease by myself. And its working! I needed help though… So just something to think about and consider. Not pushing AA on you, just my experience is all…