Like a tonne of bricks

Omg I’m overwhelmed today with a voice that keeps saying that i can drink just a couple and be fine. I’m not even sure where it’s come from! I’m not sure if it’s from talking to a friend who I grew up with so had fun tipsy times with when I was a teenager before my drinking got bad. What do you do when this voice creeps in?

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If I have forgotten, I read a note I wrote to myself when it was still fresh. About the things drinking was taking from me, and what I had hoped to find in sobriety.

Or “play the tape through.” Remember what always came after the first, second, tenth drink… The acting stupid, making bad decisions, feeling terrible the next day. (Recently I heard this made more modern as, “scroll down a little farther.” :joy:)

Then, maybe most importantly, I remember that now I know I don’t need a drink to enjoy the things I really want!

If it’s a friendship and good times, I can laugh just as hard and listen much better than I ever could have drunk. So why not just stay sober and do that!

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It’s just a thought. Like millions of other thoughts you will have today. It’ll pass if you let it :wink:

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you asked what could have caused that little voice to antaganize you. like what was mentioned it is just a thought. if it was me id say it was a tough and brutal chalange of a thought.

when ever i say im going to smoke weed and the time where its take it or leave it comes, i noticed i tend to shake or quiver. thats my body and minds way of telling me im going to do it but not enjoy it. my mind and body knows what im going to feel like if i smoke but id do it anyway.

its hard to explain

its like driving fast in a car and im in the passenger seat. i dont know whats going to happen next but my personality is driving the car and i want it to slow down and my personality wont listen.

if i drink , theres a hit or miss that i will go into binge mode.

also , if i binge i might keep drinking until i mess it all up

im sorry this message is poorly written. it was tough for me to explain

p.s. id like to add you will always be welcome here. i love all people but i hate substances

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Remember everything you have to lose by listening to it and remember everything you have to gain by not giving into it…

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I re read my list of why I stopped drinking…

(Good riddance to hangovers! (And other things I don't miss))

Sure thing there were some fun times …but by the end, it was mental torture and I was thinking I would be better off dead.

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Thank you so much everyone, your comments really helped me a lot!

It’s interesting because while I had those fun times as a teen, since my drinking went bad I have been to stay with that friend I mentioned who moved abroad. When I went to visit her I got so ridiculously drunk almost every day that I actually got completely lost going to the toilet one night and put myself in danger. I then got so drunk on the flight back alone that I was sick down myself, I felt so ashamed. Strange that I think of the fun times and not those awful moments! I saved so hard for that trip and literally was blackout drunk or horribly hungover the whole time.

I ended up feeling really travel sick today after a long car journey after sending the message earlier and the thought of alcohol made me feel even more sick, it’s almost like the car journey was giving me a physical shake and reminder!

I’m going to reread your messages next time I feel like I did today, thanks again

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Reaching out here was a great thing to do. Anytime im thinking about drinking with that voice in my head i realise that it’s never in that moment that I’m contemplating drinking, it can’t be because i don’t have a drink in my hand, it’s in the future. So im thinking about a scenario that isn’t even possible at the present moment. I can’t future trip, i can only worry about right now.

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Great question. For me I haven’t had the urge to drink going on to 4 months and I know why because if that little voice was to come up and say drink on one ear, on the other ear there would be a little voice that would say remember the withdrawal symptoms, you member!

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Keep playing the tape, it’s been really super nice and beautiful these last couple of days. It’s been messing with me too, I just play the tape. I know I can’t stop at 2 or 3, I’ll lose everything I’ve gained. I know I will go on a binder and prob stop all my workouts. Just keep fighting don’t give in, it’s hard and sucks for sure

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It sounds like you found what you needed to keep you from falling into the trap. I’m glad you’re ok Catherine! Keep that memory close to you. You don’t ever have to be that again :smile:

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I often hear my voice in my head on a Friday driving home from work
Its saying come on you been working all week you deserve it
But I must say no
Stay strong cause after I have that first drink I drink the whole bottle and feel awful in the morning

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