I’ve been to 3 meetings in the past week and even flipped a little bit through the book this morning. Haven’t made any friends or a consistent schedule yet, but I’ve liked what I’ve gone to so far.
I’m almost back up to 100 hours with little to no sweating actually. Normally by night 2 or 3 I’m aching with bad cravings and am physically frustrated because I know I’m close to breaking. But… My brain feels surprisingly excited about something new. I don’t feel like sinking into a pint at a bar or drowning myself into a stuper on my couch.
But I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes to keep AA for an lengthy amount of time. I haven’t sworn off liquor forever. Technically I haven’t even admitted that I’m “powerless to alcohol” in those words, just that I have a very large history with struggling and I don’t know if it’s something I can keep in my life. The stories that I hear from other alcoholics have been contagious and is what keeps me coming to this app as well.
But my main, main reason that I worry about myself is that the steps are sort of wired around spreading the word of AA to other alcoholics and converting them.
Not that I’m against that kind of message, I think AA can bring a lot of good if community is what it takes to get sober, but not only am I not very preachy, I’m even having a bit of trouble talking to others (friends, family) about my experiences with AA. Nobody I know really can relate or even has any interest in such a topic.
I think one red flag I also feel is I don’t have any relationship with a God whatsoever. But I can probably find something else non spiritual as a higher power so that’s why I’m comfortable continuing to go to the meetings.
Agh. My mind is so new to this. So many thoughts.
Any feelings on AA from someone who feels similar? Or maybe even someone who’s younger? I’m only 24 and everyone at these meetings are 30+ also
If you have been around enough to watch my approach to spreading the word of AA it’s pretty subtle. I will be the first to tell you it has helped me more than I can ever payback but I believe if someone sees what I am like and they want to know how I got here they will ask. And my hand will always be there. But I don’t preach it to people. But you’d be surprised by how many people are noticing my program. I have had a few people that have asked to go to meetings with me. I’ve even taken a few guys to treatment after sharing my testimony. Lately I have had a few non alcoholic/addicts in the traditional sense want to go to Celebrate Recovery to find peace? Now Celebrate Recovery is very heavenly religion based so if you aren’t comfortable with God then it maybe uncomfortable for a person. In AA you are using a higher power of your understanding so you can decide where that takes you. But I carry the message daily by being a better version of me. I’m willing to help anyone who wants help. Just my thoughts about it.
The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking (tradition 3). We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him (step 3). Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion, we need always maintain anonymity at the level of press, radio and films (tradition 11).
Translation:
You don’t need to admit to being an alcoholic or to being powerless to be in the program, just that you don’t want to drink today.
God can be anything you want it to be so long as it’s a power greater than yourself.
Members of AA don’t go around spreading the word. If someone asks for help we are there for them. We draw people to the program by living a better life than we were before.
Just keep going until something sticks. At the very least the meeting is one hour a day where you aren’t drinking.
Not worded wrong at all. Each one is a legitimate and common concern with the program. Sometimes they aren’t explained very clearly at first and it can be intimidating. I’ve been to about 230 meetings in the last 95-100 days and I’m still learning a ton at each meeting.
I think that statement right there says it all! Which means it’s actually already working for you! It’s so amazing and crazy how being around and hearing from other alcoholics can actually change your mindset keep you from drinking that day. Don’t worry about all the other stuff. Like the other’s have said you don’t need to believe in God as other people understand him, or shove AA down peoples’ throats (in fact they encourage the opposite), or commit right now. If it’s helping (which it seems to be from your statement) then just keep going. I think you may just need to take the pressure off of yourself.
