Little advice needed

Hey All, I am in need of a little help today regarding a topic I have spoken at lengths about here in the forums. My ex GF and my dreams…so as a quick preface, ive been practicing lucid dreaming, meditation, hypnosis, astral projection etc. This has been going on for roughly 4 months, started around my sober date. I have not been with my Ex since October 2016, almost exactly 3 years ago. Since the day we broke up I deleted all my social media, her contact info, literally everything that reminded me of her. I won’t get into why we broke up, it would take a while and I wish I knew the answer to this, it would likely stop these occurrences.

Anyways, ive done anything and everything to forget her, I couldn’t even tell you where she lives, or if she’s even in this country any more. I’m still in love, and always will be. I haven’t even been able to date anyone in these 3 years, and I can’t tell you why. I did a great job of somehow not giving into temptations and looking her up, but here is the problem…she is now in my dreams almost every night. I wake up from these and I always have mixed emotions but mostly sad because the dreams feel so real as if I was still with her. For about a year I remembered her phone number. The past 2 years I had forgotten it, I never really think about it but I know I had forgoten it…until last night. For some reason, in my dream I needed to call her about something. Since I been practicing lucid dreams and stuff I actually knew I had been dreaming. I must of woke up right after trying to call her, and now I remember her number. I was able to remember it in my dream, which I just think is crazy but I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. I’ve actually let go, I really have. Even though I still love her, I just wish these dreams would stop because it’s the only time she comes up, and unfortunately since being able to control my dreams, it’s been so so vividly real…

Any thoughts on why this may be happening? Is it a direct result of my recent practice of meditation?

Dave

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I’d guess (never assume to know) it’s just your subconscious at work, meditation is very subconscious for me so that could be part of why it is happening, sure.

Have you spoken to anyone about how to let go, grief of a lost one or anything like that? May help your subconscious catch up with your here and now, the present you who is over her.
Try and remember that too, whatever she is doing in your dreams is made up by you, whether from the past or future, still, made up in our minds as a non reality if not in the present moment, the only reality.

Hiya! I don’t know a whole lot about lucid dreams but from what I’ve read in the past it’s a way for us to control what happens in our dreams. I know you say you’re over your ex but also still in love… So maybe it’s possible that your subconscious mind is controlling things in those dreams in a way you’d of liked things to be in some sense? Reconnecting with where your heart lies? As I said I don’t know a whole lot but I know through meditation I connected with a friend and the vision I saw was of her as a child and something only she knew about :confused: the mind is a beautiful thing (I just keep frying my brain cells with wine :woman_facepalming:t3::joy:)

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I think this is exactly what’s going on, spot on! The timing is just very odd, I didn’t have nearly as many dreams in the first or the second year, they are happening a lot more as of late and I guess that’s the question I want answered and that’s, why now?

Sobering up definitely will help. After about 4 and a half months of sobriety I started having nightly dreams of my ex girlfriend from 5 years ago…it happens to a lot of people it’s your subconscious making up for lost time. When we were using we were masking these feelings, these thoughts. Let them play out, that’s what I have done, they will subside. She still comes and goes and yes it makes me miss her a lot however she’s a distant memory now…come to terms with that and that is all she will be.

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I say look her up and get in touch with her again. It will only keep happening unless you do something. Astral projection is dangerous unless you have “the gift” and 99.9% of people don’t. Also, avoid those palm readers shops. Most of them are fucking clowns.

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@Bostonbruins2018 the timing may just be down to the fact that you’re healing, mentally. We know what damage we cause when we’re addicted and it can take a long time if at all to repair. As you started this around your sober date, it’s possibly just a sign of healing in some way, as you train yourself with the dreaming, ask her why she’s there?

That’s a good idea. One thing to note- while her and i were together, I didn’t use at all. It started after we ended things

Well I think I have that gift you speak of haha

Hi. I actually have lucid dreams quite often myself. Almost always they are related to things happening currently in my life or things that weigh on my mind from the past. It’s super tough because the dreams do feel very real. It is amazing what the brain can do, as I know you are probably aware after remembering her number in your dream. It very likely could be due to your recent practices with meditation, etc. I know it’s kind of crazy and you wake up like wow what the hell just happened, but just remember this is your brain reacting to changes from your sobriety to the practices you have incorporated into your life style.

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Yeah so you know the feeling of having such a surreal lucid dream and how waking up from one can completely alter your state of mind. They can be real powerful and sometimes the only solution is immediate meditation to start your day right after.

I’d call her. See where it goes.

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Do you owe her an amends? I’m the type that can never let unfinished business go. I don’t know you or your history with her, so if you aren’t a psychopath (:sweat_smile:) I say reach out to her. That way you can move on.

Yes and it’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced them. So real it rocks you to your core the next day…doesn’t leave you. I can’t tell you how to react to it. I know I have had dreams about people in my past that I no longer communicate with. I just leave it in the past myself. Do you feel like it’s a sign to reach out to her or are you just trying to sort out why this is happening?

I don’t know if its a sign or not. The timing of it makes me think it could be, but then again I could be way off. I guess I’m just searching for the “why” and not the “what” like, why is it happening now…? Or why at all?

Are you thinking about her in the day more often? That could be why. I mean you said you are still in love with her so if she crosses your mind often it could be feeding into your dreams.

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Its up and down. Its been so long so it’s hard to say but I would say that most days she does come into my thoughts about something, usually relating her or something to her

Yeah. I have a person in my past that the same thing happens. And I haven’t seen him in over 5 years. I rarely dream about him though. Do you think you want to try to talk to her?

That’s what I’m saying. Give her a call. Or FB message or text or whatever.

I haven’t had a FB in 3 or 4 years, pretty easy guess as to why…:see_no_evil:

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