Hey All, I am in need of a little help today regarding a topic I have spoken at lengths about here in the forums. My ex GF and my dreams…so as a quick preface, ive been practicing lucid dreaming, meditation, hypnosis, astral projection etc. This has been going on for roughly 4 months, started around my sober date. I have not been with my Ex since October 2016, almost exactly 3 years ago. Since the day we broke up I deleted all my social media, her contact info, literally everything that reminded me of her. I won’t get into why we broke up, it would take a while and I wish I knew the answer to this, it would likely stop these occurrences.
Anyways, ive done anything and everything to forget her, I couldn’t even tell you where she lives, or if she’s even in this country any more. I’m still in love, and always will be. I haven’t even been able to date anyone in these 3 years, and I can’t tell you why. I did a great job of somehow not giving into temptations and looking her up, but here is the problem…she is now in my dreams almost every night. I wake up from these and I always have mixed emotions but mostly sad because the dreams feel so real as if I was still with her. For about a year I remembered her phone number. The past 2 years I had forgotten it, I never really think about it but I know I had forgoten it…until last night. For some reason, in my dream I needed to call her about something. Since I been practicing lucid dreams and stuff I actually knew I had been dreaming. I must of woke up right after trying to call her, and now I remember her number. I was able to remember it in my dream, which I just think is crazy but I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. I’ve actually let go, I really have. Even though I still love her, I just wish these dreams would stop because it’s the only time she comes up, and unfortunately since being able to control my dreams, it’s been so so vividly real…
Any thoughts on why this may be happening? Is it a direct result of my recent practice of meditation?