Does anyone struggle with these? Any advice?
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Yes, yes, yes and every so often. Advice? Two things come to mind:
- I personally believe that loneliness, solitude and lack of motivation are part of life’s range of emotions and binge eating is merely a response to emotions. Rather than question or suppress them, I find working through them (possibly with the help of friends and/or therapy) to be more effective.
- I have found that using substances stops me from properly maintaining relationships with friends, family and loved ones. When sober, I can at least be deliberate and mindful with worthwhile relationships instead of investing time into a buddy (my addiction) that never calls me on my shit but is always looking to bring me down.
What’s your experience, @DuncanNZ?
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Hi Duncan 
I struggle with these at times. Not all four of them, but I struggle with motivation and binge eating:
- motivation: for me, this behaviour - lack of motivation, a behaviour which for me shows up as distraction, avoidance and procrastination - this set of behaviours is about momentum: the things I struggle with, motivation-wise, are things where I don’t feel I have much momentum or progress; I feel discouraged, I feel like I’m not “meeting expectations”
- binge eating: for me this happens in two places: in the car (hello, ice cream drive through); and in the evening (hello, a whole box of Oreos with milk) - in both cases the binge eating behaviour tends to happen when I am feeling vulnerable, ashamed, or afraid (like when I am doing a project at work and unexpected things are happening, or we are off track or behind schedule)
So for me the origins of these two behaviours are emotional: I have turned to these behaviours when I am feeling incapable or inadequate (which is fear: I fear I am not good enough), or when I am feeling ashamed or afraid (because I think I’m failing to properly execute on a project).
I find both of these are related to my Step Four, so I start by doing a Step Four inventory on the spot:
- I feel fear, resentment, shame, or similar emotions toward this challenge / person / institution / principle: _____
- I feel that emotion when I see or experience this event or situation: _____
- What does this affect in me? It affects my sense of… [pride, control, autonomy, etc]
- [pray for the challenge / person / institution / principle]
- What was my mistake in relation to this person / institution / principle? Where was I selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and/or frightened (selfish: what did I want, and why?) (dishonest: what was the real truth? What vulnerability or weakness was being masked by my dishonesty?) (self-seeking: what did I do, to get what I wanted? How did I react?) (frightened: deep down, what was I frightened of? I allowed myself to be blinded by fear of _____.)
- What are the roots of my fear / resentment / shame, and what can be done about it? (1) Why do I have this feeling? Is there an immediate cause? A deeper cause? (2) How has self-reliance failed me? How have I made my life insane in an attempt to make myself the higher power here, to preserve my control? (3) How could trusting and relying on God have helped me? How would surrendering my vain attempts at control have helped? (4) What would God have me be? What are the choices and options - emotionally, spiritually, interpersonally - I do have here, that are viable and helpful?
I keep that inventory script in my phone so I can access it any time. I have a growing list of responses I’ve written (basically I do this any time I feel fear, resentment, anger, or shame: I just copy-paste the script).
Sorry that was a little long 
but for me, that’s how I engage with these problems. I often find that inspiration comes to me suddenly or unexpectedly, and then I feel more confident with my perspective (which might be a new one, which came to me after this emotional inventory 
), and with my next step, my next action.
You have a good heart Duncan, sincere and honest, and you will find what you need if you keep searching my friend.
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I do sometimes. 
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Honestly I have no idea. Do you have any advice for working through loneliness?
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Loneliness is hard to tackle for me.
When I feel lonely I turn to gratitude, write down for what I’m grateful for 5 minutes, pause with a breath meditation and set an alarm for 20 minutes of free writing. Writing down what comes to my mind, no goal, no structure. I can do more when I want.
After this I sit with myself, speak loud to myself in a kind, friendly way and ask what I can do to make me feel loved. Sometimes it’s a walk, a bath, a nap, a fresh blankie, sometimes it’s quietly sitting with all my feelings knowing they will pass, sometimes it’s comedy, youtube and laughter.
I give myself what I can and do my best to make me feel loved and cared.
You are not alone, hugs to you 
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