Looking for Advice for relapse and moments of weekness

[Jamesponcho]

Been trying to combate sex,alcohol and self harm addictions since ive come out of inpacient. But some times its really hard when triggers are right in front of you and available at all times. I found my self reseting all three in one night i felt bad about reseting sex so i drunk alcohol then i felt bad about that so i resorted to self harm as a kinda punshment (i guss thats what i was thinking at the time) i just find it really hard when i have acess to apps like grinder and access to things like alcohol 24/7

[Addictiontoascension]

@Jamesponcho I know and understand the struggle of a minute to minute battle with addiction. The only way to get over any addiction is to retrain yourself to behave differently when a craving hits. I just wrote in detail about this on my last Instagram post @addictiontoascension check it out. Cravings will typically last for a few minutes and its only within these few minutes that you have to hold the tension. DBT which has helped me greatly with alcohol recovery teaches to do 3 things when filled with an overwhelming emotion like a craving 1. Distract 2. Relax 3. Cope Ultimately we have to learn to cope without our self destructive maladaptive coping mechanisms. Distractions can be listening to music, fast rapid breath work like fire breaths, going for a walk, writing, reading something inspiring, eating something really spicy, sweet or sweet just make sure it’s delicious or try masturbating if it helps to alleviate sexual tension without triggering a sex relapse. The next time you want to self harm get an ice cube and hold it in your hand for as long as the craving to self harm lasts. Allow your hands or the area you want to self harm to numb and feel a different yet painful and non damaging sensation there. Check out “The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook” by McKay, Wood & Brantley. This WILL help. Hang in there and remember the hardest part of any journey is starting it. To really take control of cravings you have to understand the feeling behind the need for a hit, it gets deeps and with time you will master it just give yourself the chance. Resets don’t matter if you understand what got you there and use that next time you feel overwhelmed. Continue to get support from us and I hope this has been constructive for you. Your addiction is calling you to your higher self and I want to remind you there is an infinite realm of power and strength inside you. Addictions make us forget this while guiding us back to this.

[siand]

Hi and welcome

Don’t have much advice to give except to say keep checking in, there is lots of help and support here! This thread is a particularly good collection of things that might help;

Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser

Sobriety and recovery is a process of walking away from the old days of drinking/using that don’t work anymore. It’s embracing uncomfortable change for the better and deciding to not stay where you were. It’s learning to love yourself enough to say “I can’t live like this anymore and I need help”. Please add here the advice that you would like to gives to others. What tips and tricks has worked for your sobriety? What can someone newly sober expect on this journey? [image]

[anon12657779]

This is great.
@Jamesponcho remove yourself from anywhere where you can be tempted. Remove anything you have in the house. Delete Tinder, whatever, off your phone.
You can do this but it’s not something that will come by just trying to abstain.
Your going to have to put the work in.
Read and reread what @Addictiontoascension has written. It’s truth.
Be strong.

[KevinesKay]

Hi @Jamesponcho. And welcome.

I completely understand you.
I have moments of weakness, a lot.

And I have no self control during these moments. If my DOC, which is porn, is at arms reach, then I’m going to take a hit. I may demonstrate self control 99% of the time. But it’s that 1% that gets me in trouble. Sorry everyone. I’m not strong like some of you. I am weak.

But at least I know it. A previous relapse taught me this very valuable lesson.

So I can’t say that all of the feedback on this thread really speaks to me. Not to say they are wrong. It’s just that I work a little differently.

For me, I need to have very clear boundaries in case that 4 year old porn addict monster comes raging out from within me wanting to get my fix.

Apps like Grinder, Tinder, Instagram, YouTube, or Facebook are a clear violation of my boundaries.

I don’t allow myself access to my TV or my computer without a code from my family. My phone is timer blocked to keep me off the web, Playstore, Settings, and any apps that would get me in trouble.

Thus, if I chose to act out right now, I would literally have to go buy a new device.

As a porn addict, the only thing I can do with these things is use porn. All other “made up” reasons are trumped by the fact that I can use porn via these avenues.

Similar like the compulsive debter has to cut up his credit cards. The only thing they can do with one is incur more debt.

Would I keep a stash of porn in my closet? Hell no. So why would I allow myself unrestrictive access to an unlimited supply of free porn?

Some call it extreme. Maybe I’m white-knuckling it. Maybe I’m a dry drunk. I like the term radical amputation.

But I take my boundaries very seriously for the reason you shared above. I’m not always clearheaded. And it’s been very helpful to keep my home a safe environment. I deserve that.

It’s been inconvenient. Not been very easy.

BUT,
I absolutely love my new life. And TS has been such a great everyday.

Coming up on 200 days porn free tonight.
I’ll take it.