Could anyone offer any advice. I have a group of friends but quite often they talk about drinking and being drunk and almost don’t have the respect that i have stopped drinking and have done for a year. Do they still see me as being this drunk in the pub? I find it uncomfortable when they talk about past days in the pub because for me that was my worst days and i despie the thought off it now. The catch is, before i had quit drinking i would often reminise about being drunk and how i done a stupid thing one night and it was all a great laugh. I know in my heart i have changed since then and I’ve grown as a person over the last year being alcohol free and i just dont know if my friends beleive what im doing? Has anyone had any similar experiences?
my personal experience is that most folks cant read your mind. so them openly talking about it, especially if you once were included in the banter, isnt that unusual. i find that some sober folks can either have long chats about past drinking days or be really sensitive to the subject. i’m the former. it reminds me of why i fight for my sobriety - all the stories are sloppy and uninteresting now. i’d either tell them that you dont want to chat about it anymore, change the subject every time it gets brought up, or politely leave the room. good luck! its important to have a support system, so i wish you the best.
Hi @danielG1, I feel you. I once tried to apologise for making a massive scene and all but ruining my very good friend’s birthday party right before I got sober. At the time of my apology I was about 5 months sober. My friend did not know what I meant. When he finally got it he said: “oh that, ach well that’s just what you’re like, right? That’s tradition with you! No need to apologise!” I’m sure you can imagine my sadness and embarrassment. I told him that tradition was done with.
I give you the advise to speak up to your friends. They might not know how you feel about the subject and it does sound like you have not shown much of your new, changed persona to them. If all you guys do is reminisce about the “good” old days, how should new memories be made? Go on a hiking trip together, have an exotic cuisine cook-out or work on a project together - but branch out! And show yourself! Friendships need nourishment from the people in them!
That said, if they should show no interest in you or in doing anything but exchanging embarrassing stories over a longer time, the friendships will find their natural end as it is. And that is also ok!
Good luck!
Drinkers generally talk about their drinking escapades, sexual exploits which they fantasize about and about any sport currently on the TV. We were part of this crowd, so should be able to distance our feelings from the normal banter. At the end of the day the only difference is that you no longer drink, but the do
And there within lies the answer, you’ve grown. They more than likely have not. If you are serious about your task you may have to distance yourself for awhile or longer…
I’m sure you can imagine my sadness and embarrassment. I told him that tradition was done with.