Hey everyone.
I’ve been trying to kick my alcohol problem for a while now and recently discovered this app. I realised I struggle with controlling my drinking quite early on, maybe when I was around 17. Now I’m 24 and need to make a change as this can’t keep happening.
One thing I think I struggle with most of all with getting sober means losing nearly all of my friends to a certain extent. Since school I have been friends with this one group of people and we all started drinking together, experimenting with drugs together, etc. This means that its all ive known for the last 10 years. If I get sober, I lose what kept a lot of us together. The thing is I know its the right thing to do for me but I don’t know how to even make new friends or what to do sober so I fear I’ll be really bored and lonely.
Does anyone have any advice to deal with these concerns?
True friends will support you in making positive change in your life. I too worried about losing all my friends many of whom Ive hung out with regularily for over 20 years because I couldnt go out to the bars with them any more and that was for the most part was all we did. Ive been sober 15 months now. I still talk to 3 or 4 of them, we still hang out, we just do different things now. They fully support me in my sobriety. Ive also made some new friends through AA and have friends who I was friends with that stopped hanging around when I was constantly blacking out, but now I talk to almost daily. The point Im trying to make is throughout life you will lose contact with people, replacing them with others who share the interests you have now. Youre making a positive change in your life. Positivity manifests positivity. Your positive change will bring positive people into your life and youll find you dont want to be around the negative ones anymore. Have faith that doing the right things will put you in the right places. Who knows maybe you’ll inspire some of those old friends into positive change for themselves. Good luck on your journey, believe me when I say its worth it.
Thank you for the helpful words. I think you’re right that I just need to believe that this change im making will lead me to a better place and in that to new people. I hope some of my mates will join me in this new step but I also accept that won’t be the case with many of them and that’s okay too.
You’re still young my friend. Of the friends I have now, only one I went to school with.
What would happen if you were offered a job away? Would you refuse it because you don’t want to loose your friends?
As has been said above, real friends will stick by you. And on the journey of life, be it sober or not, we pick up friends in the most unusual of places often unlooked for.
Don’t worry about things like that. Worry about doing the right thing for you.
Worry about creating a new life for you
Learn to live with yourself so that you can be confident in your self.
Once you are confident in your sobriety there is nothing to stop you still hanging with mates who drink. I do. Just leave when it starts to get boring.
Hey what’s up man. I’m actually going through this, I was the same as you started drinking when I was 15 and yeah acquired only friends who party. I was scared to lose friends and thought I’d still have friends. I did lose them all, I haven’t really hung out with anyone and realized through being sober that I really had a big mask on when I partied with everyone. Being alone seems scary but you become comfortable with it, you become comfortable with you and learn who you are. You just kind of get comfortable vibin by yourself, I see myself still say I’m lonely even at 162 days sometimes but friends who are real will pop back up eventually, I don’t think I really would even want to hang out with anyone now, I really like just doing me and not having to listen to anyone or telling me what’s wrong or right, or telling me if I’m cool or should do this. It gets really comfortable and once you get use to it you won’t want to go back lol
That’s so true Mike. I think part of getting sober, if it’s done correctly, is that we learn a lot about ourselves and this then gives us the independence we need to just get on.
If people are around, cool. If not also cool.
Yeah I had a similar situation. I only lost one friend. Because like other people said, If they really are your friend they will accept you especially if this is truly better for you.
Some people may accept it right away, others (especially those who also have a problem) will challenge your thinking first, and a very slim few will never accept it. Those who will never accept it were never your friend, and you need to unhitch that trailer.
I decided to stop drinking when I was 25. I should have stopped when I was 23. One thing though dude, if you go through with this and get sober, you’re young enough where your entire body can make a full recovery. Your brain can recover fully still. Your liver can recover fully still. And I take it you can get sober WITHOUT ruining several families along the way like a lot of older alcoholics end up doing.
You got this man. We’re your secret weapon in early sobriety. I recommend hitting an AA meeting but if you’re not comfortable with that yet then you got us in your pocket everywhere you go. Use us 
.
Proud of you!